I relate with you on these drowning fears. I close my eyes to an Amen knowing she was a blessing even if it was only for a while. I am glad you actually crossed paths. I have had lots of similar stories including mine and truthfully, I bow my head to accepting the disappointment. (moments like these teach us patience)
Your tone hurts my knees so bad that my eyelids couldn’t hold back the tears as I read on. All Prayers get answer that’s what my Sunday school teacher taught me. I am not okay with the doubt you carry in your tone. Have you tried to find out if she would like to be taken out or even go out of your way to find out which roses she loves most? I mean, there could actually be more only if you would pay more attention to her silence. Maybe she is a bit traditional yet very simple. Chivalry isn’t as dead as we make it appear. The sun doesn’t have to rise and set in her eyes, it could as well do the same in yours.
If you have chosen top lover her, persist because love is selfless. You do not want to go to bed tomorrow with a tainted picture of her because of the emptiness you feel. You shouldn’t feel Lonely when alone. Paint the image of her at the walls of your heart. One day, maybe just one day before fourteenth, you won’t be buying yourself wine and closing the door behind your loneliness and she will be knocking to a silent heart that can’t even hear the whisper of a joyful heart.
Now, get that prayer back and make the best of it. Meditate on it like it’s your life and on that day, when the light in your eyes refuses to shine, you won’t be creating excuses or explaining yourself.
Until then, I remain yours truly