1 year, 1 week to be exact.

Dear Mukyala,

I woke up humming “kumbambubatire yesu, tinyewa matsiko….”….And the tears collected at the side do my eyes.

But just before I could blink and let them create gallows down my cheeks and have my eyes too swollen to hide behind my lens, mama’s and Susan’s voice rang….”you can’t be crying any more…”. I bit my lower lip, opened my eyes to wide and told myself to breathe

So I woke up today and wanted to tell you about my week and my day yesterday and have you lead me in a prayer today but I couldn’t and that hurt…

I wanted to tell you that I didn’t cry today,yesterday, the other days and for about 5 months now and i won’t cry tomorrow. No, I am not strong I still miss you. But I know you would have done the same and celebrate…

You see mukya, they said time heals wounds but time also reopens old scars..just when I tried to forget my ‘mukoko’ friend Fiona left without a word. I locked myself up in the toilet at work and wept so hard because my heart hurt so bad…I wanted ask God why but I didn’t even know where to start. So I cried washed my face and sat back on my desk with my puffed eyes hidden behind my lens again…

Every thought of her sent a pinch and an urge to scream but u couldn’t. I didn’t. Somehow u failed to move the second time…

Well, I wanted to tell you my dear “mukya”… it’s been a year and nothing has changed that much. I pray more in the closet we shared. I talk to God about you…🙈I still can’t wake up at 5am for the morning praise and worship till 7am but I say my prayers each time….don’t ask if I am married and if this dress won’t show my “mwoyo”…. just know I won’t do anything that will break your heart.

I wanted to say that we are expecting another child in the 3rd generation..oh yes and “akisiki” she delivered a lovely baby boy..am not sad you didn’t see him, I saw him in your eyes for you and spoke into his life like you would…He is so beautiful….I am still contemplating on paying my respects though, I haven’t gathered lots of strength to it.. and yes, we have been honored by the Lord, DR is teaching the word..God has been really faithful…..I bite my lip again…

My Dear friend and Grandma, it’s been exactly one year and a week since you departed and I still love you the same. Say hello to God for me.

Your little girl

Sholoni

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