Some people are too hard to love
I was told love covers a magnitude of sins, it heals, it’s not blind, it’s not selfish……But 4 years down I had 3 step Children. All Older than Noella and Nelson. I had a Drunkard for a husband and very violent. I married a man i thought i knew well, or i did know the picture he showed me during the time we were dating. (how did he hide the kids) i do not know. But my first marriage after 30 years of waiting came with its challenges. The sweetness, the fun, my partner was lost or had never been. He was a mirage. I didn’t know which one was better to fix, the marriage, the person, myself or life. I had loved him through the years, forgave his mistakes. Tried to clean my tears and make it work (i was too determined to make it work). How could i return home at that age and say i failed at marriage? I wasn’t willing to take the shame and the pouting of all the villagers. I had stayed when i should have left but…I loved him all the same.
I would go to bed scared. yes, I was afraid of the man with whom I shared my bed. i didn’t know him anymore. I lost weight and feared for my children. He no longer made love to me like he used to. He was brutal, violent and tough when he did. Most times he came on me drunk.
One day i returned home tired and weary and i found him on my little girl. Innocent as she is, he didn’t give her time to grow and discover everything about life(had he been looking at her as if she was a woman!). Am glad i came in when i did. The man with whom i share(ed) my bed is Dead. I hit him with a chair. He fell to the floor and has not woken up since. The monster with whom i shared my bed is dead and Noella and i are coiled up into each other, crying and scared. we are stuck, arms wrapped and entwined. The man with whom i shared my bed is dead….