Call me a victim of circumstance or a fool who fell quickly in love. I hid my heart under the bed and trust me that was not the best spot to hide it.
He was savory but what would I do for the hunger within me. My inside was turning slowly and painfully like the wandegeya tv chicken and i needed to feed. So, i considered my situation and there i was in his arms. He smelt nice, spoke nice, his english accent flowing like he was biting on hot tomatoes, dark-skinned and wore a bald. He was okay. Like i said i was hungry, hungry for love maybe, affection, company or not hungry and i just wanted to taste. a couple of conversations and phone calls and i was robbed.
He was friendly, we shared a couple of interests and then started hanging out. I didn’t call 911 because there was no cardiac arrest for I had tucked my heart under my bed, thinking it was a favorite spot to hide but it only reminded me that i was such a child. I don’t leave a shadow behind me, i carry it within and while i was posing about that he knew his game way too well.I had told him about it so, he robbed me. When i fell, i fell so hard that i couldn’t even walk on my fours. My demons woke up. The fear of falling even when i was already floored. The walls i had built, i brought them down myself, i was scared. Suppose he uses me, suppose he doesn’t feel the same way, should i tell him,do girls even make the first move? Jeez!was this how being sixteen felt when i would meet my crush at the dinning hall?
As I normally do, i got writing and praying. I desired to be around him all the time.I was intoxicated. So drunk with having him around that each time we parted i started to count down. When does morning come, when do the two days elapse. The chilly had sliced everything in my stomach and the hunger i had turned into a yearning. My girls said “you are in love” i said “no, i am intoxicated”. One day, while i had gone to watch him play (yes he is a guitarist). He asked me out……I ran out of breath……..
How do you even fall in love with me? I mean I hid my heart
Well, you didn’t hide it far enough. While I helped you clean the room, i found it. Trust me with it be sure i will take Good care of it. Ha! my Papa says, no one can care for it like the owner but like i was bitter-sweet at this point. i wanted this to happen and on the other hand i knew i could trust him. it had only been three weeks and i was in love…or say Intoxicated. how does this even happen?. Well, i was a hurricane of emotions so i forgot to say yes. He let me calm down before he could ask again and when he did, i said i was a mess. A carolina maybe, a tsunami and a storm i was also unsure. I had demons.