GROWING UP

I knew one thing for sure, life has no manual although my niece keeps asking why it doesn’t have one. 

So I had my future planned out @13. (Like head off planned out) I knew where I wanted to be and what I wanted to be doing. @15 I taught some Sunday school and I loved it but then after a couple of years my church (COU) nolonger had sheep. They had all left for the well structured buildings and miracles and all those cool things. So I moved church to the one that led my small church. I secured my self a seat and every Sunday I woke up and when to attend the 9 o’clock service and I sat in the same spot made a few friends. These few people always expected that I stayed back after service to chat but then (my mother was an administrator in church. I hated how long we stayed at church because she had to say hello to everyone till they all left then we could go home). Church was strictly a place of worship for me after I have done what has brought me, am out. I liked to stay atimes but mostly I left. 

School was not exactly as I expected. I was taught too many things that I don’t apply but even then I still went because “education is the key to success”. I knew what I exactly wanted to be and do in future. no sciences but I still had to pass and stay in school or my mother would rebuke all the demons. I attended to many schools and made too many friends and passed so I was average at it all. I didn’t excel in all those fields but I did good. 

So, maybe I grew up a little first but for the first time at the university I chose everything. The university I attended, the place I slept, the clothes, the course, I was in charge. Sometimes and many times I still got and get overwhelmed but life happens. I ventured into the field am passionate about in my form 6 vacation and I loved to wake up knowing am going to write and share with the world even though I mostly write for myself. I WAS WRITING For one of the big media houses and I had very cool supervisors and mentors. Through university I did this. I moved media houses and I loved it. But sometimes if not most times Passion doesn’t pay bills. A friend told me about blogging we sat down with her and I came up with this beautiful “Kadali” and I found a job. Not a passion. A job. And worked and it paid bills. It was out of everything I ever dreamt of doing but yes it does pay my bills. 

So the dream was and maybe one day it will leave my head and get into action. To write and write and start a publication of my own and write and touch souls not just hearts and bodies through the ink. Something that I love.  Wear stockings beneath my short skirt without people asking why I don’t show my legs off. Wear trench coats on rainy days without a car and walk on the streets chewing roasted maize. Sitting at the bus station with a cup of coffee and writing a new piece. And just live without worrying. But since I have no manual, one day at a time.

What am I saying. You guys that follow me that read my blog. That make me wake up everyday knowing I will say and do something I love even for an hour are amazing. Thank you for letting me know that I don’t need a big office at a studio apartment (as yet) thank you for making me feel excited and happy (even when it hasn’t paid yet) your smiles. Your time. Your love is enough. I feel paid. You make me feel alive and I guess sometimes, that’s all that’s needed life+happiness=fulfillment. Thank you. May God always keep my head and speech in my fingers. May my pen never run out. And may my mind always be alive. May you live to see the publication grow.

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2 thoughts on “GROWING UP

  1. Thank you for writing even when exposure and complements don’t pay bills πŸ’œ
    I pray eventually our publication house plan buds into flowers!!!
    Personally am a huge fanπŸ˜… thats no secretπŸ’œπŸ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

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