My heart, His garden

When he promises, he fulfils

Instead of pursuing Him, I sought God. I sought Him for wisdom, self-control, and contentment in His will. I was aware that God calls the man to pursue the woman, so with that in mind, after laying my thoughts out before God, I waited. I didn’t wait with twiddling fingers and an anxious heart but I continued to live and enjoy life. There was no reason to worry or force God’s hand in the matter.  If I really believed He was sovereign when it came to my circumstances, then surely He would be in control when it came to my relationships. (though some days I grow weary because he is silent)

I cut him a lot. Not with knives but with the brokenness I had hidden. But even with all this, he hugged me with lots of love, too hard that my bones and heart ached from it yet slowly softened. His hugs gathered all the broken pieces (okay maybe not all) but he was willing to learn, willing to feel after and more than determined to stay. I knew then that I was safe even when I couldn’t help being elusive. (I wasn’t used to this kind of affection and love but maybe because I was used to being the giver).

(I will be walking down the aisle to him in a few hours). One night after he asked me out I prayed hard that God takes him away and divert him if he wasn’t “the one”. (

My past had me mixed, broken and emptied me up that most times I wondered if I was doing things right. I was very conscious that I became a shadow of myself. A shadow even my mirror couldn’t reflect. I didn’t know myself anymore or what I wanted even when I tried. I wasn’t happy but it didn’t matter as long as the other party was on top of the roof. I shed my skin so many times that the grave yard must be full of all the people I tried to be.  I loved till love became words and stories, poetry and dreams immortal in every book and painted sunrise. It almost took my esteem but now, it’s a forgotten chapter. And that is all it will ever be, a chapter.I still have more to write…The best is yet to come… And today a new chapter begins

In a few hours,I wont just say I do, i will say, I choose you!


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