Category: UP&ABOUT Town

Pain romanced

I have Romanced pain

Dated it, slept with it

Held an caressed it

Even when it hurt, I smiled

When they questioned, I defended

They they said let go

It wasn’t that bad for me.

Yet I still cried myself to sleep

Woke up choking on my mucus

Smiled to my wounded heart

Forced the image in the mirror to smile

It convinced me, I was beautiful

Told me I could never be better

Made me believe, that was my start and finish

I sat at high tables

My legs crossed at the knee

Red soles, red lips tic and flawless hair

They envied me, so their was no way I could speak up

I smiled for the camera

And swayed my hair for haters

Or I was the hater

I knew I was in a bad place with pain

Maybe married to it

Caressed and romanced it

We couldn’t let go of each other

Until the emptiness turned into death

I was a moving shell

A zombie

A corpse. Am image of myself

Then I knew the romance was over

I was dead.

Does sex get better with age?

image not mine. just found it .

Do you believe you can drive a car for 20 years and still be a bad driver?

So what do you mean sex gets better with age because of experience?

Experience was the most given response from people on social media where I posted the question

Does sex get better with age?

Well, I don’t know because maybe my age hasn’t come. But at the start mine, wasn’t as bad (but I also like to sex it’s an overrated sport (don’t shoot. A few people might agree)

Someone said it was bad while they were beginning that is because they were amateur and now they know what to do, they have learnt their bodies and can explore a lot of things

However, what happens when your partner isn’t adventurous as you. Some people are very conservative and preserved and women might want to explore more than men. Yes, you are willing to teach them and all but then what happens if they aren’t willing to learn when they worship the missionary or aren’t willing to try our all those crazy positions?

Well one mentioned they would throw them in the bin ha-ha but hey…we all can’t be adventurous. They didn’t believe that men can be conservative unless virgin

So let’s discuss the “sex-ploration” that everyone relates with the experience.  You might have a discussion with your partner and they still aren’t up for the cuffs, toys, anal or the oral. Yes you know your body better and all but to some people it’s just in and out and we are over.

Both participants must be on the same page it’s not about the age another said. Commitment and Contentment of each other should be at the forefront. Therefore it gets more satisfying with age. Keyword being satisfying. It gets better with time not age. Then you know what you want and how to please each other. Sex needs a clear mind. You will both love and enjoy it. And it should be communicative stop going in like you await Holy Communion

Some people age arrogantly and badly so they end up taking the juice and desire out of everything in  you that you lose the desire and interest. Otherwise sugar daddies and mommies wouldn’t be spending just to get laid. (Huh I have no idea what is in it for them but we roll)

Did someone say Climaxing episodes change? Well let me keep aging maybe I will know.

As we get older we get more intentional they said. But I don’t think anyone starts out like oops! We usually put our minds to it. Being intentional really matters with sex, I doubt you will enjoy it raped even as a virgin unless it was intentional it might turn out to be something you hate. Focus on pleasure and partner is important

Another said it gets better but the energies drop. I agree. Growing up is a trap with all the responsibilities and work in your basket, many times you just want to get done with it or just sleep. Some people are having it as a duty. I don’t know the number of women I have heard saying they many times lie about being on their period or sick just not to give it. Sometimes they are exhausted, or really sick other times they think like “does it have to be a daily sport!” Anyway I don’t know what runs through many heads since this talk is avoided by many people (psssh some people in-boxed me because they were shy to type online afraid of who will read and judge ha-ha). We have been made to believe discussing sex publicly is immoral I guess.

What is better sex? What is sex/what is age? Usually when you are beginning out the thrill, the excitement the guilt, the fear of being caught, that secretiveness is what makes it thrilling and fun I guess. But what happens when we are no longer on the age when you are at the age where you have it with no one questioning even if you aren’t publicly making the announcement but you are probably committed and living with this person or you have the responsibilities. Do we even know how to stop and explore and it’s not about a duty to each other. I have spoken to women who don’t know what an orgasm feels like.

Knowing what you both want is what makes it better I guess. Getting to a point where you can explore each other like a piece of art

But then someone asked, with such thoughts, is it the trill you are enjoying or the sex. I would say both. That’s why some prefer pain while others prefer sooth romance

Is sex love?

He said it was but then what happens to friends for benefits, do they have love involved. Let’s say it’s supposed to be love because love is a fixed thing like variables

Sex needs a clear mind. You will both love and enjoy it.

I think with perfect communication sex is better age isn’t the issue, Attraction also matters so please take care of how you look or present yourself.

Well what do you think? Let’s discuss

We will discuss the 30s horn soon I be hearing about

Letters 21

I want to write to you a letter my love.

A letter of love, a letter of thought, a letter under the stars.

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling wishing I had those sticker stars that glow. I stare into the emptiness of the dark. Wondering if one wishing star could just swing by 👌🏼for a while. I am imagining a house with no roof. Perhaps a glass house by the beach

You know I love sunsets because they give me hope and make me feel accomplished. So a glass house by the beach would give me a perfect view. But I also love a dark sky on a cold night. Stars twinkling around a full moon.

A whole horizon at the neck of the sea, still waters whispering sweet nothings. The day was beautiful but with more chaos than expected. I need some quiet right here. Here where my thoughts speak nothing and my heart says … beautiful! ….

Where the waves kiss the shore a bit more loud and the palms sweat in harmony. In this hammock I wanna fall asleep hugging my knees and smiling at the stillness of my soul. Perhaps silently lay with you listening to the music of your heart. But, right here , I wanna lay alone to reflect on …. nothing!… but also about nothing because I just want to listen to nothing but my heart, the stars , the waves and the whispers of the wind. Here, is where I want to teach my soul about my heart, my mind about my body and my body, the language of love.


Sydney sims -unsplash

So, while I was scrolling through Facebook and twitter I land on this Obituary/ death announcement of an IHK nurse that was hacked to death by her husband INFRONT OF HER KIDS no you didn’t hear me. He axed her in the sight of her children. Well, according to the people that seem to know the story. But it’s not the first case. Women a buried in septic tanks.

Last week a video was posted the lady was smashing the man’s car and the man was recording while telling the kids “see your mother is mad” and she was asking him to stop feeding her kids with lies she isn’t mad. She was getting back at him for something but that’s a story we online don’t know so we can’t tell reason for reaction. She was criticized in all ways positive and negative but I got lots of questions on my mind and why such crimes seem justified and why the law has to first check the mental health of the criminal to be sure he is mentally steady. My heart sunk for the kids. The image, the sight will never depart. I really pray they find a home (without him) that will nurture them and console and love and take good care of them.

Now the questions. No matter the reason no one deserves to take another life in the name of anger and frustration and I wasn’t thinking nonsense.

We need to change the narrative and stop stigmatizing divorce. Now don’t get me wrong, I know what the bible says and I don’t support divorce, but if it is the only way our or reason to get sanity please get out even God loves the Divorcee (am sure he will understand or not). Especially because I don’t think all marriages are ordained by God. We force ourselves into some because we are pregnant, wealth, love, age, society, peer pressure whatever it is, lust even when we have all the red flags.

First of all it’s okay not to get married, society shouldn’t dictate. It’s okay not to want children or want one or four or 20 as you please not what the world says is right. Don’t give in for the sake of your sanity. It’s also okay to get married at 40 or whatever age you find it right and pleasing.

Did the deceased talk to people? Probably they told her to be strong and hang on.

Are we taught to stay in toxic relationships because we fear the aftermath, the kids, the things built together the memories we hold together? Okay for the sake of Marriage the kids will suffer the break up but they will also suffer consequences of a toxic union so make the right choice because Death shouldn’t be it no matter the choice. We tell these girls everything they should do soon as they hit adolescence but have we rejected the men?

What does a man do in a toxic relationship?

How do they deal with anger?

Many women, myself inclusive live in carelessness because we are taught as African women to uphold family honor and be patient even when it kills your mental, physical and emotional health. We take all the abuse ad “die heroes”.

Who started this narrative?

“That is how marriage is” seems to mean take everything thrown at you. Do you think Christ was stupid to die on the cross or when he said “if you burn marry but being alone is better” Did he build the institution on spite or you think he was drunk to preach love, love in Corinthians.

Why do we prefer to return home in coffins when we left in heels and makeup just at the expense of abuse? Don’t we love ourselves just enough!

Normal men that were groomed well, speak up! Don’t let this eat us all up because of few that were probably broken as young men

Do the church vows need to be revised from “till death do us part” because we shall really die?

My heart is bleeding yet I didn’t even know her in person. Rest in peace Violet Kakai

The other halves

When he went to the bathroom, she palmed her face “what have i done?. I have taken a one way ticket with a man i don’t love but convinced i will grow to love.”

Two days ago Anna got married to Paul the Paul she grew up with. Her house was two locks from his and they spent most of their childhood together. Their parents were convinced that they were perfect for each other. They had both been in different relationships growing up and Anna knew how much of a heart breaker he was. He wasn’t even attracted to her body, even as an adolescent there are times they shared a bed and he would just close his eyes each time she pulled off her shirt before him.

He was into Skinny girls , and Damn” her hips were flying and her tinny waist could barely hold it together. Yusuf liked her. He was attracted to everything about her and she loved being in his company but her father would never approve of him because he was not christian. After many attempts trying to convince the mother about religion, she failed and in secret they dated. Paul knew about Liam but also he was convinced she was his.

Now, she is seated on the bed of her honeymoon suit wondering if she made the right choice or could have eloped.

lets pour us some wine. Paul said as he walked to the tray that held it. I know we aren’t in love, she turned to him as he held out the glass before her.

Paul, i thought you were in love with me?

No, i was in love with the idea of you and i was just selfish to have you have another. I love Bree, the girl from school but just like your parents, mine wouldn’t have it either so, here is the deal. Can we be in an open relationship. We can have sex if you like, we can have a baby or two but we can see the others we really like. Yusuf is Moslem and not married yet, he might not mind finally having you. But Never get caught and Never sleep out of home. Also never bring our other halves of this equation to this our home. We should act married in public and family gatherings because technically we are. We can discuss other things like finances when you are up for it. He sipped his wine and sat in the chair in the corner of the room. His grey sweatpants revealing a bit so much that besides what he just said, she wants to have him.

Before i respond, as your wife, i demand to have some of that, pointing to the bulge in his pants. He gave her a sly smile and motioned her to come close. He took her right their on the chair. Feeling him inside her scattered lots of emotions. and when they were done she asked. In-case i fall in love with all this along the way, am i allowed to suggest a real marriage without the other halves?

Looking at her from the corner of his eyes, drew her close and said. Yes, my love because I’m not letting this go.

By sunset

being in a relationship won’t cure your loneliness
riding on the horseback into a sunset of a marriage wont cure your sadness
we win some and lose some
because love as it is doesn’t guarantee happiness

how can you be mad if you don’t remember?
to forgive is not always to forget
so stop making excuses because the hug is warm,
the sex is good,
and the heart wants what it wants
don’t ride into a sunset of a marriage because
at dawn the tears will flow
the ache will return
the thumping will be loud
darkness will cloud you
but don’t say,
i was blind.
And don’t blame love

josh applegate

why are you accepting his ring when you haven’t forgotten
why is he on one knee when you both didn’t heal
did i hear love
are you God!
are you insane?
well when the sunrises, we shall be dressed in purple
with hankies and hymn books
silently crying at the church pews
our hearts grieving
his back being patted by another not you
and by sunset, you will be lowered
At sunrise we will walk the streets like nothing ever happened.


jeff seipman

Can i use your shower, you ask. sitting at the edge of the bed your back turned to me. Yo have been seated in silence for the last 5 minutes. I could swear that i know you but again besides the words from your heart beat that fills the room, i haven’t heard your voice in a while.Its been long since i last saw you but i am familiar with your sweat scent. I know this love making, they can’t have the same skill. Tonight is different, dead cells in me felt alive and i couldn’t even resist. the tenderness by which you held me

Sure, its to your left. i say. “i know where that is. ” you say walking away. Has he been here before? Because this suddenly feels like home.

I convince myself that you haven’t however your fingers upon my skin, the way they made music with my body, the way you make love. Scratch that, make love, i have only been fucked the last couple of years. No string attached and yet this evening, i felt loved. A tear falls down my face.

I turn to my radio and play a song only you would recognize and i could feel your eyes on me from the bathroom. It wasn’t a song we both loved but a good song that can never finish.One that speaks to us the same way. Yes i still listen to Shayne. Its been four years since our song was played on the radio but i have kept a copy on my iPod. I play it often because when you said you would be right back, i didn’t believe you but i held unto the music and the feeling. Its been 7 years and i know i cant forget because goodbyes hurt when the story isn’t finished

It cant be him, i walk to the bathroom and see it. The mark on your body, how did i miss it? Oh! we made love in the dark. I get into the shower just to confirm,

I look into his eyes and i see the fire, our lips touch and he kisses me right back. A tear fell under the shower, my heart pounds. He holds unto my waist pulls back to breathe, his eyes glaring all over my body and a whisper “i missed you” we both cry.

Baby, i am home. But why are you crying?

You haven’t said another word but you hold unto me like you wont let go

Baby, I’m sorry. “why, what have you done?”

lets pour some wine and sit by the fire because we have a lot of catching up to do

Love under the rain

what would making love under the rain feel like

wet and soaking but immersed and drowning in love.

sweat and passion cooled by some drops

silent mourns and mud

oh the mud

what difference will the pattering on the roof make

on a cold horny evening

lying in bed cozy and warm
the poetic sensation
rhythm after rhythm

i wonder what it would feel like,
making love under the moon
near a water fountain
with Dave koz blowing the sax
and the stars twinkling silently

soothing jazz and the babbling of the water resonating

leave the Indian movie kinda love
its the chemistry and no action

cringing unto the sheet, legs shaking at the explosion

his tongue strumming your inner thighs
fast pace breathing
and then a silent moan

Another silence with the fore play from the tingling sensational ripples of the fountain


Goodbyes hurt hurt

Especially when the story hasn’t been finished

And the book has been closed

Goodbyes hurt when closure is just a word

And silence is speaking Spanish

Sometimes you think you have forever but you don’t

The love is birthed

It’s tendered and watered

And just when the bloom blossoms,

A plague attacks

And just like that the whole bloom withers

No harvest.

A plot twist,

A dead garden

Then a river or flood running with all your secrets.

Nothing between us

You short butterflies in my tummy

Yet ignored the smile

I blamed the dust and wind when my eyes watered

Maybe there was nothing between us but

120 days ago I was heart broken

I sat at my fav cafe sipping tea

The spices were too strong my eyes watered

You walked up to me

Told me you have been watching me for years

We became friends

I promised I wasn’t ready or you would be a rebound

But your sweet soul took me to dinner

Asked me out,

When I asked for time you became elusive

Stopped calling and texted only when necessary

I didn’t reject you

When I said wait for me is because I didn’t want to hurt you

I needed to be sure my feelings weren’t playing

I just needed a couple of weeks to place and settle my hurt but


You shot the butterflies in my stomach

Blamed the dust for the water in my eyes

Ignored not just my smile

Told me you weren’t willing to wait

Yet you had already waited 730 days

Acted like you had never known me

Maybe you were right

There was nothing between us

But why do I still gape at the sight of you

Why does my stomach flip

And my tongue ties?

I know you feel the same way

But maybe there’s nothing between us