Kazigo tales….6

Number 2-Joseph Only knows how to shout. the whole neighbourhood emubanja. He has borrowed even from the shops. We don’t even know what he does for a living. He might be like Mutyaba now the late/Ex convict. Number 4-Namata, a girl that we hardly see. we dont even know why she pays rent. She only comes to change clothes, shower and go. She is almost not a neighbour but Joseph had also borrowed from her. Namata nga akonkona Joseph. Nga Joseph afuluma. She had miraculously been already whole day and in the evening she was preparing her dinner when Faith came out complaining “ani atuwunyiriza mukene” and Namata had assured her how she Just doesn’t beat foolish girls but disciplines them.

So, she knocks and Joseph opens. She demands that he pays her and I think her responds the wrong way Jamani! The girl blew and everyone even neighbouring district occupants came. Now that was a problem, Dude owed the whole country everyone started.Nange, nange, nange….If he had attempted to lock his door, they were breaking it. I come out of my house and ask nalongo from the retail shop narrated. So i go and intervene and he tells me his side of the story so we agree that he goes looks for money and at least pays the simple debts. Guy locked his house and till this day i have never seen him. naye bavuma nze…….

Meanwhile Namata has been around since then and the new fight is about Joel. Faith thinks Namata seduces Joel. Truth is Namata…Atukula! Faith is to a vitz as Namata is to a benz….Naye oba what happened? I will wait for Herbert since he is a stay home Xbox player he might have some info


Her heart on fire

her soul weak

yet the mind keeps pacing

she holds back tears with her smile

recites “all is well” like a reggae hit

her voice soft yet her speech affirming

she knows she will get through it

but she Tires,

Tires from putting other first

yet she doesn’t know how to put her first

She tires of defending herself

she tires from the sorry refrain

yet she has to keep going

today she wants to sleep

long enough not to think

quiet enough not to have to speak

at a deserted place

Just for one or two days

she wants to reboot

kazingo tales….5

Friends for benefit, My neighbour and Joel.

Day after boo bae (whatever the case) left. I was back to the story. Only that this time round Faith (how names lie) My neighbour had officially become Joel’s benefit friend. Joel had been “hitting it” since then. So the story had taken another turn. They hadn’t just given each other some, they were now sharing the bill. I don’t know whose food tasted better but all I know a times, he would sleep at hers. Seemed like all his dishes no longer tasted like Faith. So faith became the main dish.

So she tells me how it unfolded…”munange from that day, he has been eating at mine. I think the food tasted good so he decided to stick to this menu for now. But he is good and he says he liked spiced food and you know I love spices. So i cook with my heart. He is a very nice guy but that’s all we can ever be.” Now, i was puzzled. I thought they were getting serious.’How do you mean thats all…”. ” I just like eating but i never want the same food for months my dear and i don’t know if he can keep up with the heat and the appetite.” My jaw dropped. ‘Suppose he does?’ Then nga nsigala naye ebya commitment sili sure…njagala Sente. He has some dime but can he sustain…Tubera tukyanyumya nga siwuyo….Joel. He says hi, smiles and enters. I quickly said bye and entered my house because i knew what was next.

Kazingo Tales….4

So the week went by with all that drama and Monday was here. We all needed to be at work. When i returned in the evening my female neighbour was mopping. Her bum raised to the sky and her yellow thighs out. She had folded her skirt over so that it didnt get wet. Her long silky hair puffed into a messy burn. She turned and welcomed me, i responded. As i open my door i tell her “Is it because everyone is away that you have decided to mop naked? we laughed about it and i moved into my house. Threw my shoes off, poured myself some juice, picked up my tv remote and smart phone. I wasn’t planning on cooking and boo, wanted to pass by.  I called my boda guy and ordered some toninyira food to be brought.

As i waited for boo, i love to sit at my veranda and watch the world or sip some wine in silence. nga doesnt my neigbour start conversation. I turn to face her over the rails that separate our space. “Did you know Joel, (oli number 6) isnt gay?”. I have never thought of him as gay but i couldnt say that, i wanted to see where the story leads. How did you know, i ask. “Anti omanyi bulijjo mwepikira. So i decided to trap him. “(meanwhile the whole time she was mopping, he was in his window peeping). Anyway, i pull my chair close. I even was tempted to stand up and listen in properly. “So nayiseyo anti nange sigwayo. Guy ali clear nyo. Omwo mwakubira music, he has something smart down there.” she added.

Luno silwa kugwa. So this yellow girl had trapped the guy into sleeping with him he…..”any way, while i was leaving i realised he is a collector for girls knickers. Dude has been pounding different babes.” So, i ask her when he ever brings them. Tubera twebase oba…? “Even me i dont know. But yes, i wasnt the first girl he has laid. If you think Herbert Carries, Joel has a master key.” She narrated with ease and excitement. I kept wondering why she even was excited. So i ask, ebintu abitegera? and before she could answer…Boo, Bae whichever it is shows up and our gossip is cut argghhhh…..

I wear a smile, hello boo……

Kazingo Tales….3

She looked very responsible as she walked away from me. I stayed long to see and confirm that she was the mother. She knocks at the door and the young kyana Opens up. “How can we help you?” she arrogantly asks. The madam asks to see Herbert and he steps to the door. All the woman said was “car keys”. Chai! I entered and switched off my inside light and went tp the window. I could see Herbert kneeling to apologise and the young kyana puzzled and arguing. Then later the young Kyana leaves. The madam drove away however she left the car. I went to sleep. Sunday morning as i prep for church Herbert comes to my door. “how dumb are you? couldn’t you tell babe am not in?” Me now puzzled. “beera mu class. oyo omukyala yambesawo.” I wasnt sure whether to say sorry or be sorry. So i tell him. “well maybe if u had briefed me earlier and showed me pictures and told me your stand, i would have known better and next time u ask if am dumb, i will show you and you decide.” He apologizes and explains. Now, i was running late for church so i tell him and i go in and pick my bible and bag and off i went.

Ngenda Okudda okuva ku church nga police is parked and there was a crowd. i find my way through to my veranda even before i ask. I see Number 1. Mutyaba nga mubbi bulijjo! so i ask my neighbour who was seated up at the rails that define her veranda. What happened i inquire. Aha Mutyaba gwe yabye lero…she says carelessly. So he stole oba what and they tracked him down. Apparently he has been on wanted list for long. She added. Mutyaba had been beaten that his face was too swollen to see his eyes. He is that one guy we never see. he works at nigh he used to say rest of the day time he is sleeping or smoking weed. He has few words so at most he only says hi. Luckily he had never robbed any of us. He was beaten but later police took him away. They asked the landlord if he had any arrears and no, he had no debt. he always paid in time. So just like that he was gone.

Kazingo Tales….2

Yes, Peter used to stay with his little Brother then he realised he was burning so he decided to marry and rent his brother another place.

They came out in hand smiling and giggling only to find that the crowd they thought was busy was all over a sudden out doing something or pretending to. The kyana didn’t freak out at all. Slowly they walked across, entered their kazigo and shut the door. I am sure we all knew what was next, to our surprise few minutes later they came out very dressed and madam was going to cook. Her choice of attire wasnt “mothers union, it was the kind that says “after you are satisfied, there’s dessert.” Peter instead went to purchase some things while madam cooked.

Ate did we ever enter our houses, meanwhile its like 8pm we need to watch news some of us but we were busy watching this young couple and trying to gossip. It was a full moon night so I really didn’t mind sitting under a moon lit sky….naye mbeera nkyali awo nga number 5, asombye. Ho!. Now, number 5 carries every weekend and a different girl at that. Number 5-Herbert is one of those body building men. The kind that hit gym every  morning and then play Xbox the whole day and Hit gym again at dawn then returns with kikomando. However, looks nice, smells nice and you wonder what he really does besides picking up girls.

Now, this day he even came driving (naye abakazi tuyina ebizibu) Nanti we think cars mean class and money….basically I also don’t get whats with women and cars. So my guess was he borrowed the car because this particular kyana had maybe refused so he stepped it up. Hahaha. Mbwenu Herbert. Anyway nga ayingiza kintu kye nga we watch. 3 hours later after as i take in my charcoal stove inside, another car parks. It was a golf and the driver had full lights directly on my behind. Now, i hate this foolishness. I begin to howl insults “musilu kki ono ankubamu amatala, okwata nsenene with those lights?.” An old woman , looking like she was her late 40s stepped out. A red lip, Red heel. The kind of women that refuse to grow old. Walks towards my Kazigo. I stand arms akimbo waiting to assure her (but i was taught better at talking to elders).

“Am so sorry madam she said.” Immediately I found a new place for my arms and told her it was okay but rude. “I am looking for a guy name Herbert.” She added. I almost asked if she was the mother but i swallowed and pointed to the kazigo. Least did i know she was the sugar mummy…….


I saw my world through his eyes. He always made sure we were better. I hope we turned out good. His vision and dreams, I hope its how we have lived.

Dear dad,
I hope we have turned out to be the children you desired, viewed the world through your eyes. I know we have fallen short many times. Many times we get ashamed but you taught us not to stay on the ground after falling. You taught us the power in resilience. I hope we have turned out like you prayed and envisioned.
The world of having enough and satisfied you lived. I hope when you look at us now, you see exactly that. Children that are comfortable with little and enough. You always said “Don’t know borrow” I hope we have all lived up to this because teaching us to manage little means we get comfortable with enough. I pray our children, your grand children take this on as well. Because God has trusted us with plenty through the years as well but we I hope you can say, we have fallen into your footsteps. Not for many things but we sure have tried.
I hope you can say we have made you proud. I hope you can comfortably say we are the children you dreamt of raising. Through your eyes…u didn’t see us lack and I hope when you say those little prayers you let God know that he hasn’t left your side. He has taken care of us as you envisioned.
Through your eyes. Life is meant to be simple and not complicated. Wealth is good but wealth that’s not tangible is the best. Silence resolves conflict better than war waged. The rod isn’t only a piece of wood, speech can be a rod. Patience is a virtue that the patient aren’t sure they qualify for. Honesty costs nothing. Integrity is something to hold and guard jealously. Faithfulness isn’t just a word. Love isn’t just want the internet gets to see, it’s what your heart rejoices about. Happiness is key even when sometimes you need to give it up for others to have a share of it. A few of the lessons you taught. You hoped you would see in us. I hope when you look at us we don’t have an equivalent in these lessons.

Kazingo Tales….1

He stepped out of his one room kazigo with a towel wrapped around his waist while he left his upper body bare. I sat across at the veranda of my own single room slowly washing my few cups and plates. It was a saturday and I was cleaning up. Usually my whole neighbourhood is around the hood on saturday. Everyone seems to be off duty. So Peter crossed over (our bathrooms are across the quadrangle) anyone can see you cross if they are present.  Peter was so skinny OMG i always wondered if he got any food to eat or he was starved. His bones are very protruding u can almost draw his skeleton.  Anyway this particular saturday he had “carried” call it bringing a kyana home. And they had been in doors till 7pm when he stepped out to shower. Few minutes after he had crossed, the kyana came out with a kanga wrapped from her breasts. Covering almost everything since it was easy to draw her shape just with your eyes.

Number 2 whose Kazingo looks exactly into mine was standing in his door way. All over a sudden he shouted “mujje mulabe Peter asitudde”.  almost everyone rushed out apart from number 6- Joel. He normally turns on loud volume as if his house is one of those kiosks that burn music on the road sides so clearly he didn’t hear. They all pretended to be busy outside their verandas as they waited for Peter and his kyana to come out. Now, the bathrooms, are behind my kazigo almost. So as i entered to dry my dishes and place them on the rack and guess what?

Peter and this Kyana were enjoying their baths. She must be from one of those tribes my friends used to make fun of at school. She knew well  how to spice up this thing….Anyway rush out to call number 7. My next door female neighbour. chai! “bulijjo tunyoma ka guy”. first, the kyana is fleshy then this…. Hehe. Munange, kyana was busy asking “baby to rub her back to touch here to touch their and Peter was so in sync…..the kept laughing in between the whispers of this we didn’t get to hear naye nga they seemed happier than number 4 who kept all of us thinking we weren’t good enough because of the way she tagged around her man and cooked meals whose aroma we would smell from the corner of the road.  Anyway we rushed out as I pretended to cook so that we give the second glance to the woman who had Peter send out his little brother……….


That Day…

I sat down and thought about my flag.It was at half mast when I passed Kampala road. Dirty and abandoned. It looked very orphaned. I went home and switched on my father’s television. The headlines read “Baganye Okuwozza” meaning they refused to go to trial. Any way I wanted to know more so i looked for Bukkedde and read. It so happened that they had reason to refuse. Some were in Jail the day the clouds grew grey and the days were dark for our national security, but they were however, suspects in the murder. The Members of parliament and ministry of Internal affairs summoned the head and were questioning how that happens, why suspects were paraded before media before, why some religious leaders have more security than those that ought to have it. For the first time, i notices our MPs have a bit of sense okay.

The #6billion made news and one person said there was a conflict of interest in the case therefore the results we all expect could not come the way we expected. A professor was denied bail. A month later the application was tabled and she came to court sick. One soldier was wondering why a soldier heads police when police and the army are trained different.  Children became the target to get parents hurt.  I read about one who was burnt with Acid(I am still puzzled at how ruthless the world gets). Internet has ruined us. You know that part were the bible says, “you don’t continue to sin because grace abounds” I think we should behave the same especially on social media. Do not step on people’s rights Just because it’s a democratic state. Speaking of the state, I wonder why and how……(I was warned. I never want to be on the state’s wanted list. so back to things i don’t understand. Religion is to politics as politics is to religion. I hope our church leaders know the impact. (give to God what is of God). Learn to separate salt and water i would say. Speaking of politics…What is the difference between a leader and a politician?. Artists are joining politics but they are leaders not politicians. True they could have the bigger voice, But where does this get us as a country to. It means some people have failed at what they need to do or signed up to do so others have to do it for them (who even came up with this whole legislative thing.) Anyway, Do not let language take you off the Grand plan. Preach Christ’s death and resurrection. Let Politicians preach the politics. After all these Headlines, i received a forwarded chain text about the Rapture (Game Over).

The Rapture, the Rapture, The Rapture, I want to be among the number but the standard is Perfection when it comes to things that aren’t of the world. I thought and Thought and later rested my head. I have been hearing about the Rapture 2 months in a row.

Once upon a time I was in a relationship, one I didn’t have a lot of voice in, one that was of the law and rod and…..Their was no way out. It was a blood covenant or something like that and once a wise man said to me, “There’s no covenant if blood isn’t involved. Convenant=blood shed even as a drop”. He took me back to the bible covenants and all had a blood element. Now i sit down at the window seat of my favorite coffee shop, admiring flowers at the flower shop opposite as i  sip slowly on my coffee, waiting, watching and praying. Eno Uganda Y’ani!!




seated somewhere dark

resting my cheek against the cold wall

surrounded by my thoughts

breathing in a rusty dusty old book scent

I savour the silence

and just when some thoughts get loud

and begin to bounce back echoes from the walls of my confusion

I burst into song. I softly hum

just to deafen the ears of my heart.

I twist and turn,

lie on the untrodden floor

my feet up against the wall

a little ray of light from the ventilation

I feel my lips twitch with a smile.

I stay a while

Free to realise my importance and insignificance