A FOOL THAT QUICKLY FELL IN LOVE

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Call me a victim of circumstance or a fool who fell quickly in love. I hid my heart under the bed and trust me that was not the best spot to hide it.

He was savory but what would I do for the hunger within me. My inside was turning slowly and painfully like the wandegeya tv chicken and i needed to feed. So, i considered my situation and there i was in his arms. He smelt nice, spoke nice, his english accent flowing like he was biting on hot tomatoes, dark-skinned and wore a bald. He was okay. Like i said i was hungry, hungry for love maybe, affection, company or not hungry and i just wanted to taste. a couple of conversations and phone calls and i was robbed.

He was friendly, we shared a couple of interests and then started hanging out. I didn’t call 911 because there was no cardiac arrest for I had tucked my heart under my bed, thinking it was a favorite spot to hide but it only reminded me that i was such a child. I don’t leave a shadow behind me, i carry it within and while i was posing about that he knew his game way too well.I had told him about it so, he robbed me. When i fell, i fell so hard that i couldn’t even walk on my fours. My demons woke up. The fear of falling even when i was already floored. The walls i had built, i brought them down myself, i was scared. Suppose he uses me, suppose he doesn’t feel the same way, should i tell him,do girls even make the first move? Jeez!was this how being sixteen felt when i would meet my crush at the dinning hall?
As I normally do, i got writing and praying. I desired to be around him all the time.I was intoxicated. So drunk with having him around that each time we parted i started to count down. When does morning come, when do the two days elapse. The chilly had sliced everything in my stomach and the hunger i had turned into a yearning. My girls said “you are in love” i said “no, i am intoxicated”. One day, while i had gone to watch him play (yes he is a guitarist). He asked me out……I ran out of breath……..

How do you even fall in love with me? I mean I hid my heart

Well, you didn’t hide it far enough. While I helped you clean the room, i found it. Trust me with it be sure i will take Good care of it. Ha! my Papa says, no one can care for it like the owner but like i was bitter-sweet at this point. i wanted this to happen and on the other hand i knew i could trust him. it had only been three weeks and i was in love…or say Intoxicated. how does this even happen?. Well, i was a hurricane of emotions so i forgot to say yes. He let me calm down before he could ask again and when he did, i said i was a mess. A carolina maybe, a tsunami and a storm i was also unsure. I had demons.

 

Eulogised

The heart breaks in the most beautiful and musical way yet tragic.

The sound it makes is so soft that only God can hear.

The tears roll down like rain that has just hit a glass window,

the noises from within,

the traffic in the mind is louder than all the people that surround us.

How can we explain a kind of love unexplainable?

                                                                What is love?

How can we describe a pain very indescribeable?

How do we look up the stars and just smile?

time heals all wounds?

How will it do so when the clock just stopped ticking?

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My heart sinks, my doll rests. If love could bring you back

 

 

#PuzzledLines

She spoke like their was music on her tongue

walked like she was moving on air

like her feet didn’t touch the ground

she was like a quiet symphony

Her father’s song

His heart sang each time he laid eyes on her

She was the song of her father’s soul

He liked the look of wild-fire in her eyes

She made all the maidens envy her

And all the men lust after her.

 

They sat down under the moon

talked about the good time and laughed

she told her about him,

he looked up the stars when he smiled

She was leaving for marriage

And in the morning,

the elderly women had prepared her

and when the time was ripe,

she walked towards her father,

Her Kanga beautifully wrapped

and her waist beads beautifully drapped around her waist

He kissed her fervently and handed her to her groom

she left for her marital home

she knew he would be lonely

but also her time was ripe

she wasnt wrong,

his spirit  died within him the day she left.

 

 

LETTERS TO MY P**** Pt 18 &19

the last lap of the recap #FBF Have a lovely weekend and lets see how the new week starts

kadaliblog

One thing about life is,
If it doesn’t fuck you today
Tomorrow is always their
So my love I will not promise a bed of roses,
Silk bed sheets,
Scented candles,
Because I cannot afford all that.
But I can afford loving you and
Making you the lady every man would desire.
But I cannot promise the lights will not be off
and not all decisions are mine to make,
Sometimes the men decide.
When u want it soft and tender
He wants it rough and hard
When you want the lights on,
He prefers they are off

19
That night of the rape
I could hear the voice of the wind
My body was cold and lonely
Cold blood ran through my veins
Warm tears down my cheeks
My lips shivering
I felt the cold blood against my skin
Flowing down my legs like a stream
I heard the…

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Taking stock 2017

Dreaming:

Big and small and wide

reminiscing:

i loved this part of thinking i guess 

Sipping:

Tea and lots of water

Eating Munching:

everything that i lay eyes on as long as my stomach approves

.Listening:

Angel Benard,J moss,Tyrese,Jodeci,Blake&Pompi

Wearing:

Every natural and Jeans (nothing changes here)

Reading:

Blogposts https://joseyphina.wordpress.com , https://mablesrants.wordpress.com/author/mablerants ,https://sinawobukani.wordpress.com and a few others

Watching Following:

The voice,Prison break and lots of news

Bookmarking:

Nothing since March

Can’t Believe:

Am soon moving out from my parents house

Liking:

My hair.Last year I decided to plait for a year and i love the length

Knowing: 

I can do all things through christ that strengthens me, no situation is permanent

Deciding:

To stop waiting on the clock. I can still move when it stops. So whatsoever I desire or shall desire i will go for it

Enjoying:

My new status

Loving:

Me and mine and more

Noticing:

The world is too wicked. Seems like we are in the last day and too many people are too ignorant.

Excited:

ssh coming soon.

Needing:

God and God and more of Him

Waiting:

On my birthday like its tomorrow

Thinking:

About the future yes. Kids, Finances,purpose,work and the blog eh!

Wishing:

I could have a glimpse of heaven

Praying:

for his will to be done in my life at all times

Wondering:

How God loves us unconditionally because trying to do it as a human is too exhausting

Looking forward:

To the growth of my blog and my next writings.

Can’t wait:

to let the secret out of the bag because my fingers cant wait to type

Always Grateful:

To God, Family and friends. I have an amazing team

LETTERS TO MY P**** Pt 20-23

Just taking you back for this week

kadaliblog

Am apologizing today
For having blamed you
Even when you had no control
For having strongly believed
It was your fault
I promise it won’t happen again
I was young and effortless then
I couldn’t defend you
But now that I have gained some weight
Grown to understand it was not our fault
I have learnt to defend you jealously
I thought you had let me down
Betrayed me
I almost under went mutilation,
None the less commit suicide
I never believed in the blood you shed
I mean every month the womb does so
I never believed in the pain
But today I say am so sorry.
21
Just before I forget
When I was very little
I published you
I always put you out for everyone to see
Dressed you in cheap knickers.
That I won’t call them lingerie
I will call me knickers
“Tajiri” they were known…

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LETTER’S TO MY P**** Pt 13

Going down memory lane.Incase you missed these, Here we go…

kadaliblog

I don’t know what future you have,
Especially with the Sebei and Masai
Wish God would only understand
And place you only with the other tribes,
A Muganda would surely take good care
Their paternal aunties teach them how
Apart from the pain of going to the bush
A Mutooro would not be mean
For every cock that knocks on her door
It will be a sure deal
The Arabian women would be on point
Because before marriage your assured of your seal.
But I cry each time I see a Masai
I fear for you
Especially at the age of fifteen
My heart pumps so fast
Because I know it’s that time
The time to be silenced
I hear, ‘to give me pleasure’.
Yet it’s to cause you misery
Deny you of identification
Who will see you so tucked in?
What kind of pleasure has pain?
Of course I…

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LETTERS TO MY P**** Pt 4

Just taking you back a bit before we go baking again

kadaliblog

Today I come with apologies

Of never thinking about you

Of never worrying

Never feared for you for disease

I want to pledge

To use you purposefully

If you survived mutilation

And never let me down those times

I took you for rides

Had any one dip there hands

Heads, lips, cocks

Why should I let you down?

Now that I am grown

Ripe for marriage

I will make sure its fair

As I enjoy his manhood inside of me

I will make sure you also do

Feel the excitement

The warmth, sweetness

Of the man inside of you

I promise to package you

In the sexiest lingerie

Make you feel loved and worth

I will not promise to keep you from the pain,

The tear of child birth

Because you really have to experience it

Neither will I protect you from suffocation

Monthly suffocation on sanitary towels

But like…

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LETTER’S TO MY P**** Pt 8

Just thought i should go back abit to this song/these letters

kadaliblog

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I remember the one time

The night with my boyfriend

When we took a shower together

He ripped my dress off and underwear

Joined me in the bathroom

There’s no pussy without far

Okay at least non I have imagined

Maybe till its shaven.

Though to very many

They are like lawns

And need to be kept

Just like you level compound lawns

For passerby’s to admire

He got scissors and designed my compound

The touch of the scissors

And the feel of his fingers

As they placed shavings cream down my lawns

Got my inside burning with desire

I felt my lower stomach with butterflies

My pussy got wet

The waters were sticky and milky

“Am wet”, I said to him

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Ntv Style Project

What was the idea about?

Besides it being cliche,am thinking you wanted a different version but almost similar to E fashion police. What is this?. While Sylvia Owori was still a team I think it was bearable. It was entertaining but if you know the fall after you Brought Sheila, Bettina and Tazibone together hmm. (Okay Tazibone might be struggling but he has and idea) now you the rest, you still needed them on tv but didn’t know where to place them or?

This team is confused,dead. They know how to dress and put their wardrobes together but not to critic Fashion. We have better analysts(ask me for these next time i know a few). Am not beefing because I do follow Bettina on instagram (i mean she has a well-managed page, only professional photos up and quotes on life then its very organised and she has pics taken from Maldives i mean no beef but I think Uganda has better people for this Show (unless you can’t afford them.)

Sheila one day was dissing the flowery embroidery that she was wearing herself on the show that day. Does she stammer in real life? She speaks like she is very unsure of what she is communicating eish. Anyway someone would ask “what do I know?” so let me keep what i know to myself and go watch News. Since am not the only one that is complaining.