Love Letters-3

they say you spend your whole life rewriting the first poem you ever loved, that’s where they go wrong.

I Def think this is where most people screw up – if you’re not open to something different nothing else will ever fit the mold they are like Snowflakes

Dear you,

Well, I believe this should come off otherwise. I can’t spend the rest of my life listening to the same song even when it makes me smile. Some lyrics age like wine i agree but why else would wineries brew different flavors and more wine if the first was the it? I think we better than that.

So I have decided that i no longer want to see you and am going to do something different this Valentines. Something like take myself out for a movie, pick up flowers from the florist for myself, buy a bottle of wine, cook something delicious for myself, pick up the tv remote and watch all the love stories showing, play some slow music and love myself.

I might as well just catch up with my girls for ice cream and some gossip or sit at the park and watch lovers stroll in hand and giggle, maybe some band. I men life can’t be this hard. I cant cry myself to sleep and blame myself or question why it didn’t work out. It’s not my fault that you cheated and am not even going to try play guilty like always. I hope you have a special day full of love and lots of wine.




Love Letters-2

Never confuse what you are offered with what you are worth

Dear you

Just before I could go to bed, she called me. She said she had you for this valentines so i better wait for Easter maybe, and that is if she really feels sorry for me. You didn’t tell me we were sharing this bed. sorry, Heart.

you know am not the kind that loves to share hearts. Am really Selfish and that am not even ashamed to say. So she made an offer, If I desired to have you so bad i either have you day before or Day after. But then, Cupid wasnt stupid. And maybe Sometimes he lies so i need the spirit to lead me. But also, is it worth it?

So since I don’t desire to confuse nor share. She can have you and have you through the rest of the years because if am your choice, you need to need me not just want me. You need to focus because am sure you know what you want. stop playing games. It’s either me or me…or her and just her.



Love letters-1

a single rose, a loving text, a picnic at the beach, it doesn’t have to cost money.

Dear You…

I hope these letters find you well. February has been long coming. I mean, it’s almost the only time i receive letters. Its like spring in winter in this our thing.

Am sending you a dozen roses and hoping that I will see you this valentines. A single rose every day along side a simple note. Don’t worry about the cash because i know what the  “Jan-wory” did with us. A piece of you and a glass of wine could do. Maybe a little bit of laughter would seal it. I would love to smell your scent all over the house and have your voice echoing.

It could be a romantic dinner at our favorite hotel or a stroll to out favorite maize stall. It doesn’t matter, All I desire is you, a piece of you maybe. Patiently and tenderly i shall be waiting like a budding rose





paintbrushes with music and dance

lovers art and artpieces

Smart and intelligent,

beautiful smile and crazy laughter

a heart so hard, broken and full of lies

secrets hidden with a love


you say she didn’t give you time?

When all you did was flip through the pages of her book,

reading nothing therefore noting down nothing.

A book she handed to you for years

but still kept it at the shelf and only picked it up when she didn’t call

and  offered it freely to whoever cared to read

knowledge is power they said

they also said, best secrets are book kept

you missed it all.

she tried to speak

her message was in every song you played

but still, all you hear was the track not the lyrics

you cared to dance more than understand the song

music is music they said

but music would be no music with no lyrics



she is doing just fine.

there are lessons in her essence

3 things he couldnt tell her

He couldn’t tell her He loved her

because she spent lots of time talking about him

telling him of how “he” makes he heart sing

How he makes her stomach rumble

how he makes her feel like she could fly

He couldn’t tell her “he” lied.

“He” lied to her that he was single

“He” lied about his name and job

“He” lied about his love for her

and the whole meet up was a plan

He couldn’t tell her to wake up

Because in that fantasy she found solace

he would rather die than see her cry

he didn’t want to be the one that made her sad

so he kept silent

and in that silence, a heart was broken

and a dream died.

She Lay….

She laid down with her face up

clad in her beautiful lace dress

lips painted with a mac ruby

and her foundation well pressed not to trace a pimple

She lay with her eyes closed

like she was avoiding the rays of the sun from hitting back

yet the sun had been blocked by all the shadows standing besides her

glaring down at her like she was a piece of fine art

like they were trying to find out if her breath wasnt air yet

“can’t you see that I can’t move?” she thought.

She looked at him weeping

his hands slowly caressing her casket

He was in deep sorrow

She wished she could wake up

as much as she enjoyed the attention she got

the lies and truth being eulogized

But also prayed she was really dead

he was the reason everyone was gathered and not having tea.



Conversations in my head

eyes (read): Summary of 2018 prophecies by …. Prophet.

north korea, trump, japan, UK strikes, plane crash,investments,two parliaments,,fallen soldiers,  Oscars………(reckoning……oscars……reads…)……demonic entities…..

Brain to Heart: has god been reduced to this. Is he this cheap?. Okay, so if its demonic and all, what has it got to do with christianity? What does the winner have to do with the gospel?  (continues to read….) “No one has done this before”….

Heart to Brain: You mean u cant predict this? (they laugh…back to eyes)…”any prophesy that has no purpose isnt prophesy at all I think”…(the sender says)

Eyes continue:…..Google had these predictions

Brain to Heart: see…. we can do this…But wait..back in the 90s we had mchaka mchaka compulsory for all youth. So that looks old, they will just bring it back. In fact all my siblings did it. I just came too late to find it. Do soldiers ever fall out with each other?

Heart to brain: I didn’t know mahn. I thought its like mother and daughter…But doesnt God reveal to redeem? so What are we being redeemed from?

Brain to heart: everyone knows Corbyn Jeremy Kavuyo.

Heart to brain: Well, I don’t even know what that is…

Eyes to text: I feel Pessimist at times but I know God isn’t Purposeless.

(heart and brain nod in agreement).

Heart to brain: Boss calm down. God has never asked that u fight his battles. he can manage. sip some tea. you even over working me

Brain to heart: you have a point. If they don’t come to pass we shall edit the document.

Heart to Brain: am worried. Finances, relationships, God….Life generally. Growing up is a trap. Am trying not to be perfect yet perfect. Best yet same usual me….eeh!2721d191cd693980e0cebf7365fdf016

Brain to heart: boss, pump what u need to pump. channel your energy there and do it well. Focus on what you know best how to Do,Let God do the worrying for you. I mean, eyes told me that he read somewhere and God said, Rest in only me…

Heart to Brain: U donkey first focus. If u didn’t have all these things stringing, i wouldn’t have felt.

Brain to heart: Calm down, cant u hear, ear has already tuned to Anthony Evans, am focused!

Heart to Brain: Well done, now I can work and smoothly at that.



I Do. (Kadali)

Every lady should have a chance to plan her wedding or experience the whole planning. Jeez! It’s a bunch of work. That’s when the fights with relatives and family get intense, it’s when u want to lose your head without losing weight (impossible) But yeah. I wonder how it’s easier to pull off sad moments like funerals but birthdays and grad partied and baptisms and weddings are trouble. Some people start to demand positions they didn’t live upto all their lives. But at that moment they pull out the title card. 

By the time you are done with all the things that need to get into place. U don’t actually care what flowers were delivered, what music got played. You just want to get over with it with the little satisfaction of the dress and vows part and go to bed. Happy. One day of too many emotions even if u had 🔟 years to plan. However it all ends. 

So yes I did my Kadali. And am very excited to take this journey. Ofcourse I expect to get home sick often. But am loved by the best from all angles. 

Thanks to my family, my in laws. My cartels, the high command unit. U were amazing. And you always are. The friends and family  the support in all forms. My decorator both events @BethEvents. My MUA @SharonKH, my Metu. My maidens. (🙌). I can’t wait for the next Kadali episode 2018. Am excited. My followers and readers (Jeez u guys keep my head up)

Let’s do this again 2018. 



My heart, His garden

When he promises, he fulfils

Instead of pursuing Him, I sought God. I sought Him for wisdom, self-control, and contentment in His will. I was aware that God calls the man to pursue the woman, so with that in mind, after laying my thoughts out before God, I waited. I didn’t wait with twiddling fingers and an anxious heart but I continued to live and enjoy life. There was no reason to worry or force God’s hand in the matter.  If I really believed He was sovereign when it came to my circumstances, then surely He would be in control when it came to my relationships. (though some days I grow weary because he is silent)

I cut him a lot. Not with knives but with the brokenness I had hidden. But even with all this, he hugged me with lots of love, too hard that my bones and heart ached from it yet slowly softened. His hugs gathered all the broken pieces (okay maybe not all) but he was willing to learn, willing to feel after and more than determined to stay. I knew then that I was safe even when I couldn’t help being elusive. (I wasn’t used to this kind of affection and love but maybe because I was used to being the giver).

(I will be walking down the aisle to him in a few hours). One night after he asked me out I prayed hard that God takes him away and divert him if he wasn’t “the one”. (

My past had me mixed, broken and emptied me up that most times I wondered if I was doing things right. I was very conscious that I became a shadow of myself. A shadow even my mirror couldn’t reflect. I didn’t know myself anymore or what I wanted even when I tried. I wasn’t happy but it didn’t matter as long as the other party was on top of the roof. I shed my skin so many times that the grave yard must be full of all the people I tried to be.  I loved till love became words and stories, poetry and dreams immortal in every book and painted sunrise. It almost took my esteem but now, it’s a forgotten chapter. And that is all it will ever be, a chapter.I still have more to write…The best is yet to come… And today a new chapter begins

In a few hours,I wont just say I do, i will say, I choose you!