Today I come with apologies

Of never thinking about you

Of never worrying

Never feared for you for disease

I want to pledge

To use you purposefully

If you survived mutilation

And never let me down those times

I took you for rides

Had any one dip there hands

Heads, lips, cocks

Why should I let you down?

Now that I am grown

Ripe for marriage

I will make sure its fair

As I enjoy his manhood inside of me

I will make sure you also do

Feel the excitement

The warmth, sweetness

Of the man inside of you

I promise to package you

In the sexiest lingerie

Make you feel loved and worth

I will not promise to keep you from the pain,

The tear of child birth

Because you really have to experience it

Neither will I protect you from suffocation

Monthly suffocation on sanitary towels

But like every day will make sure you are clean

From the wetness of my river……………….



Marry you friend. Not just any one because they are wealthy or they have a name or because your father believes its the best partner for you. Gone are the days when we were match made for marriage and we were not even allowed to court or date. Marry someone you can not only make a fool out of yourself for but can also cry with. Marry someone who doesn’t simply make you smile but can as well understand you. Do not just marry your friend but your confidant someone you can share you deepest secrets with someone who will not just understand you but correct criticize and advise you.

Marry someone that will hold your hand even when the clouds become dark, play with you as friends, love you deeply like you are part of their lives. Marry happiness, marry the heart not the wallet not the body not the looks all these simply come like a package. Marry your best friend and you will forever live like a princess because you have someone that completes you, understands you and believes in you.Image


Every night I lay

With my legs wide apart

Exposing you to the sight of my man

Not my husband

But one who would give me pleasure

You never locked up the penises

Never rejected any

But I wonder why you welcomed all

Just in the name of making me happy

You swallowed all juice

Worked so hard and never wore out

Sometimes I thought

You were wearing out

But for my love to make love

I wondered if I could renew you

For I couldn’t borrow

The times I lay

Wanting a man to lay with me

Had my nipples harden

My blood pump so fast

You never made me a laughing stalk

You were never dry

My cup was over flowing

I wondered whether you refilled during the day

Or kept the juice you took in from my man

My well never ran dry



At six years she played mummy and daddy and then one night her mother walked into her one night before she went to bed. She was on her knees with her baby besides her and this was her prayer “dear Lord, when i grow to be like mummy i want to be like mummy and daddy. I want to have a Praying husband and very caring like daddy. amen.”  The innocence in her prayer brought tears to her mothers eyes and she closed the day silently and went away.

It is every little girl’s dream to get married one day even when they do not understand what marriage is and its every mothers dream to see her girl walk down the aisle. There’s that man that every girl has built her dream on and when they start to be teenagers they start to believe this prince is in a novel or doesn’t exist in real world. It is okay to dream and build that fairy tale in your head because one day your prince charming will come even after you have kissed the frog and the toad. As you dream remember to pray for your prince it doesn’t matter if you already have him or you like the six year old girl. dream of your wedding dress your reception and everything you would like about your wedding. Dreams come true though not all of them because sometimes you meet your prince but you never get to have the dream wedding but your still happy and you even stop to dream and only wish it would come.

Last night that six year old now in in her early twenties was talking weddings with her mother, but she still sounded like she was six maybe few things were added because she now knows what marriage is now but she hasn’t stopped building her fairy tale. All successful people have dreamt and its from these dreams that they live their dreams. dream dream dream….


Many times i’ e had girls debating about whether it is important to tell their friends about the men they are dating or in relationship with. “i only introduce my man to my inner circle of friends and once in a while hang out together because never know they may see what i don’t see” one of my girlfriends said. I met another random lady who told me she couldn’t risk it all they should know is she is dating and maybe introduce him but not hang out she rather would she introduces him to family.

well, i will say, its your own business as to whom you choose to get wed or marry not your friends because at the end of the day its going to be you and your partner. Even when you divorce as much as they say we told you no body ever understands your feelings more than you do. All that your friends can do is relate to your situation but your situation is very different from theirs. And again they say beauty lies in the hands of the beholder.  IT IS ONLY YOU THAT KNOWS THE REASON YOU FELL IN LOVE OR LOVE SOME ONE OR CANNOT GO AN EXTRA DAY WITH A PERSON. If am your friend i should be able to support and advise you and not discourage u it is why while you are a child your mother let u burn, eat soil and make your own mistakes because she needed you to learn from them. But however i DON’T stop you from introducing your man/woman to your folks or talking about them or hanging out because they shall see something you don’t see and when your told don’t get angry just pay attention and be more careful. Think about the advise and let it be your own DECISION on whether you divorce or breakup or keep dating not an influence by your friends because you don’t want to be blaming them the decisions you made out of their influence that way you will never feel like you owe anyone an EXPLANATION for decisions you made on your own because still its only you that knows why

your friends shouldn’t be only their to find fault in you life they should be concentrating on fixing their own faults. WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE QUITTING, ALWAYS REMEMBER WHY YOU STARTED. when you think of walking out on your marriage always reflect on why you started it, why you agreed on getting married and why you chose this person. when you think of leaving your relationship always reflect on what made you start it or get into it because your the only person that knows why your wit someone particular. Love is work for the people involved not for the people outside because from the outside looking in you can either choose to see beauty of sorrow while from the inside you know the situation perfectly. love is a road taken by two people who should know better how to work it

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letters to my p**** prt 2



Sorry I didn’t think of you

I caused you pain

Exposed you to my girlfriend

To the bush herbs

I had hardly looked at you

Just until that time in the bush

The time I compared you to Stella’s

And was inquisitive of the similarity

My selfishness left me no choice

I needed to strengthen ties

To prepare for that man

 I dreamt of perfect love making

I could do everything to earn it

Even when it meant mutilation

But wait; be glad I did not go there

May be because my culture is different

But please forgive my friends

They couldn’t protect you

They were young and stupid

Blinded by there culture

Uneducated, never learnt

They could never fight for you

But you know you are my best friend

You are so secret

Never let me down

Even to the tears of love making

While am groaning with ecstasy

Mourning with excitement

Even when I let you through the pain

Pain I enjoyed as I became woman

You never let me down



When i picked forms for national identity card registration, i realized at the section for marriage  they didn’t include cohabiting. Then as i returned home i met my neighbor sulking and complaining about the same thing.”i am a married woman even when i do not own a marriage certificate that these people want,” she rambled. I looked down at her in confusion and walked off. but as i rested down on my bed i got myself wondering what is a marriage? When two people stay together ordinarily its called cohabiting even if they have had children yet i still think this is not right . I believe as long as all we have is each other and no one to keep asking us to recite vows or dance then we are married and a wedding is a celebration to seal off this marriage that is why lots of people come around to witness the union. Being back at your house with your husband or  wife and children is the marriage because that is where it all goes down it does not matter if you have a certificate or not because all this certificate does is to certify your union not your marriage.

I would prefer you have a marriage and not just a ring because when you wed, you obliged to wear one though it’s not a must because this is a symbol for your union for your love for each other a seal for the promises and not your marriage. Do you ever look at the many who wear this band and do not respect the reason for its presence on their finger? or they wear because they are afraid of society questioning why they don’t wear one when they are married? I love rings and yes i dream of a wedding i dream of a wedding band but i also dream of respecting and loving my wedding band not as a seal for my marriage because i can wear it of but as representation of our love therefore my wedding band is not the one on me but the one i wear on my heart and this on my finger is just a reminder of my promises.

Well the marriage is more important than the wedding, It’s about what happens after the wedding not just one day. I actually think on those forms they should have included cohabitation because some of hour parents have brought us up in a marriage that is referred to as cohabitation and they have been down the road 50yrs. It’s good that you have a wedding but much better that you have a marriage either have both or the latter not a wedding and no marriage


Two weeks ago i sat in church for a wedding and next to me sat this 10 year old little girl. And when it was time for the couple to recite their vows, she knew these line word by word and i was compelled to ask her if she had an idea what they mean but her answer got was “I have been to weddings since i was six years old and its the same thing they say and because they are overly done they stick to yo head just like that”.

i realized i knew these vows myself when i looked back into my order of service. So i ask, what is in a church vow? this is what most African couples would go for because the church vow is only inside your head like how students cram the periodic table in chemistry but have never cared to understand it. These words are not glued on our hearts therefore we make no meaning out of them. as i interacted with few people i asked one married man why he choose to use church vows as opposed to his own and this is what he said “no one will hold me accountable if i mess them up because i only said what i was told to say”

A lot is in a church vow given the fact that by the time you decide on marriage then you are ready to stay with your partner throughout the rains and when the sun comes out your still together. However its not compulsory to recite church vows, you can always come up with your own vows that mean something to you for this is a promise that will not simply hold both of you together forever but keep you two together. therefore i really believe vows hold more than most people think.Image

letters to my p**** PRT 1

Didn’t know your beauty

You seemed quite beastly

Wet, shiny, hairy

Bleached, wrinkled, really

Dark, hidden, devious

Yearning, waiting, porous


Believed it was part of creation

But it was only when I was eight

At thirteen she told me about pulling

I know! The stress was not easy

But you carried through

Am proud of your strength


While others had the lips cut

I had mine growing long

Not because I speak a lot

I didn’t want to take you through the pain

But I needed to prepare myself

Not for the bad

But for something that would give me pleasure



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Mummy Says...

Three years ago today, on a rickety deck over a sparkling sea, I made the most important promises of my life. I married my best friend. Under a brilliant cloudless sky on the other side of the world, we began the rest of our lives.

I’ve been thinking about our anniversary all week. Three years isn’t such a long time, but we have squeezed so much living into it. We honeymooned at the top of New Zealand’s South Island. Family from around the world had travelled to our favourite place on earth – and they, along with our closest friends, spent a glorious week as we did – happy, relaxed, feeling the sand beneath our toes and the fresh air in our lungs and ready to start something new.

We returned as newly-weds to the home we had recently bought. The 100-year-old villa in a trendy sun-drenched corner of Wellington…

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