FEARS

I wear my fears under my make up
(its where its not often on my face)
I wear my pain with my heels
(because i command attention and feel beautiful)
I am like many girls my age
while some prefer to cry their pain out and drink their fears
I prefer to write out my pain, knee mail my fears and Dance my frustration and depression
I fear the distance i have to walk its why i prefer to fly
I fear to be delayed
(actually i refuse to be delayed cz am not a child of tera)
I fear delay of my dreams
delay of my desires
I fear giving up
I fear holding on
I fear waking up tomorow know yesterdays dream wasnt accomplished in its time
(yes because it slows me down)
it frustrates me
I fear getting married old i want to be young and vibrant when it happens
I fear i wont be able to stay 50yrs in marriage
cz i fear outgrowing each other, i fear failure
I fear being desperate because it makes me it cake faster than my heart pumps blood
I fear my STRENGTH AND PATIENCE
(do not open yo eyes)
Its a virtue but i fear the day i shall wake up and i cannot be strong no more and my patience was taken for granted
I fear that i shall not build my teens home in time
to inspire them and speak to them
U all inspire me mayb just like i inspire u
but dee inside me lies a little girl with fears
who has only known one way to survive is have faith pray and keep hope
I fear not being able to get all my dreams togehter within my time
and oh this thing disturbs me confuses me and fustrates me
I fear not being able to bring up my children like i dream
I fear i fear i fear
The only thing i dont fear is God because he shall never leave me no matter
I fear not being understood
I fear not being appreciated
I fear losing love
I fear that the day i wont be able to find a pen a pc or notebook to write will be the end of me
I fear the day my strength will fail me i LOATHE the day i will crash
I dnt think i shall be able to get up from it yet if i do i wont be the same
I woke up with all these fears today
and i just realized how scared the little girl in me is
I fear i fear i fear

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I MET A MAN 3

(what that fast, which girl goes to a date so fast)

I was ready to know him
I picked up my purse
Called for a cab
And left for the venue
I wasn’t even sure I heard the place right
I sat and waited
Fingers crossed
Hoping it was the right meeting spot
Minutes passed and there was no sight of him
I panicked again
I waiter came to my rescue
He had sat at a corner
Watched me enter
And took notice of all I did as I waited
I was directed to his table
Where he stood up to receive me
Pulled out a chair for me
And sat after me
Honestly I wasn’t sure men still behaved this way
In this era and time
He pulls out a chair for you?

( Am also wondering, omg this guy had game aaaaah 1st day of vibing a woman I mean)

I MET A MAN 2

The pain after I can not here his voice
He was in my dreams as I prayed
He was in my head at night
The man I asked for at the alter
Each time I knelt down to pray
He was an illusion
Maybe from my movies
But he was hot!
Like the men on television
I had read in Daniel Steel
She described him perfectly
Just like the picture I created when he spoke
But hmmm he was my dream man
That was who I wanted him to be

I met the man again
I met him across the street the other day
He made my heart stop
I panicked when our eyes met
I quickly dropped mine to the ground
My head was blank
He was the only man that ever made me panic
And made me speechless
My eyes made effort to rise again
And they met his again
His eyes were glowing like the sun
I blushed at his gentle smile
It was as bright as the full moon
I was almost blinded
My voice disappeared when he asked my name
His tender voice didn’t leave me standing
My knees weakened
I grasped for breathe
That I almost collapsed
Then when he asked me to dinner
I was scared but accepted with excitement
I rushed home, forgot about my day
And tried to prepare myself
I dressed in the velvet evening gown
With my back open
Matched it with high heels
Just to enhance my slim size
And get my calf’s flattered
I looked at myself in the mirror
And I looked great.

I MET A MAN 1

I met a man
The kind of man you make a fool out of yourself for
One that makes you quake your house
For its emptiness without him
The kind of man you can’t just be friends with
If you can’t have whole of him,
And better you don’t get any of him
A man that makes you feel Spanish and Latino
Whose silence of words cements your heart
And makes you laugh like a little child

I met a man
A dream that pursed reality
Snow white dental
A giraffe’s neck, wide shoulders
Broad chest enough for a lovely pillow
Lovely voice that made my ribs crack
I wanted to here him speak
But was afraid of the pain

LETTERS TO MY P***Y pt 16&17

This letter is about my friend
I want you to learn something
Dear p***y
We all do not hate you as you think
Sometimes it’s because we have no choice
She was orphaned young
She left to stay with an auntie
After a few nights
She was told
Sleeping with men would be her survival,
On her first night
They dressed her
Dressed her p***y
And there she laid it before her client
Who appreciated the beauty?
She didn’t intend to
Tears flowed down her cheeks
17
But its how life decided to fuck her
After you beauty had been robbed
Her dignity was no more
She then vended you for half her life
Until her you were worn out
Her body needed to retire
And there we buried her body
Alongside her p***y
That’s because it didn’t have another place to be
Well as I shower every day
I thank God
I didn’t vend you
Or I was never lost of choice for you
I might have made some wrong choices for you
But I will surely make them all up to you
Give you the life you deserve

LETTERS TO MY P**** Pt 15

It’s for no bad cause.
Simply because I love you
But let’s not make promises to each other today
Life might not be fair
I might run bankrupt
And you’re the only source of income
The other night I saw my friends
Just down the street
Life was not fair to them
They decided to use their friends for income
It’s not because they find pleasure
But they need food on their tables
I know you told me you hate STI’s
But they also try so hard to avoid them
Life has not given them choice
It ceased to be a bed of roses
They cannot afford to keep their p***y’s dressed
They can only keep them clean
And not for their satisfaction
For the men who look at them
For the dicks that dig deep into you
For it’s those dicks that dress you
It’s those dicks that pay you health bills
And my friends rent.

A Message For A Wedding Day

i love this msg

Exiled Community

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This past Saturday I had the honor of officiating the wedding of my sister-in-law, Marci, to my new brother-in-law, Darryl. It was a great day! The couple picked out a scripture from Song of Solomon (or Song of Songs- depending which Bible you’re looking at) and the four points that I shared with them about cultivating a marriage that will last a lifetime.

1. Ground Your Marriage in Trust: 

“My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.” Song of Solomon 2:14

The man is calling out to his bride-to-be and sees her as a gentle dove hiding in the clefts of the rocks. This is a remote place that is difficult to get to. A dove would have to feel safe to come out…

View original post 944 more words

MY ROSE GARLAND

He bestowed on me a beautiful crown
It was not a princess’ or queens’ Tiara
It was a red rose garland
When he promised me a rose garden
I didn’t fathom how gracious it would feel
But when he met me at the entrance
And stared deep into my eyes
And exchanged my crown for a rose garland
nothing ever felt so beautiful.
I was his little rose garden
That he watered and tendered
he saw some roses wither
but he made sure most of it blossoms.
When i looked deep into his eyes,
I saw love,Joy,I saw pride
I felt loved.
My tears rolled beneath my veil.
with my Garland over my head,
nothing ever felt beautiful
like knowing i was my father’s princess
I was his rose
and i have lived in my simple castle
in complete blissful silence.
Till today when i stand in awe
thousands of eyes glued to me
as i recite my vows and Testify.

LETTERS TO MY P**** pt 14

When every word I say is not meant,
But taken with serious caution
Not like in the days
When I lied to u
You have my sincere honesty today
From this day
I vow like the married
Not to misuse you
To treat you with great respect
And ooh! To love you endlessly
Not till I die
But when I reach menopause
I will retire and so you will
But I know,
It will be so long
It might take forever
But it’s ok to start with forever
Then the fairy tales can follow
Every friendship has flattery
Don’t get angry if I flatter you

LETTER’S TO MY P**** Pt 13

I don’t know what future you have,
Especially with the Sebei and Masai
Wish God would only understand
And place you only with the other tribes,
A Muganda would surely take good care
Their paternal aunties teach them how
Apart from the pain of going to the bush
A Mutooro would not be mean
For every cock that knocks on her door
It will be a sure deal
The Arabian women would be on point
Because before marriage your assured of your seal.
But I cry each time I see a Masai
I fear for you
Especially at the age of fifteen
My heart pumps so fast
Because I know it’s that time
The time to be silenced
I hear, ‘to give me pleasure’.
Yet it’s to cause you misery
Deny you of identification
Who will see you so tucked in?
What kind of pleasure has pain?
Of course I know of one
But it causes less bleeding
More joy and slight pain
You make men cry with ecstasy
Yet you cause agony to many ladies.