Tag: abuse

CRIMES OF PASSION

Sydney sims -unsplash

So, while I was scrolling through Facebook and twitter I land on this Obituary/ death announcement of an IHK nurse that was hacked to death by her husband INFRONT OF HER KIDS no you didn’t hear me. He axed her in the sight of her children. Well, according to the people that seem to know the story. But it’s not the first case. Women a buried in septic tanks.

Last week a video was posted the lady was smashing the man’s car and the man was recording while telling the kids “see your mother is mad” and she was asking him to stop feeding her kids with lies she isn’t mad. She was getting back at him for something but that’s a story we online don’t know so we can’t tell reason for reaction. She was criticized in all ways positive and negative but I got lots of questions on my mind and why such crimes seem justified and why the law has to first check the mental health of the criminal to be sure he is mentally steady. My heart sunk for the kids. The image, the sight will never depart. I really pray they find a home (without him) that will nurture them and console and love and take good care of them.

Now the questions. No matter the reason no one deserves to take another life in the name of anger and frustration and I wasn’t thinking nonsense.

We need to change the narrative and stop stigmatizing divorce. Now don’t get me wrong, I know what the bible says and I don’t support divorce, but if it is the only way our or reason to get sanity please get out even God loves the Divorcee (am sure he will understand or not). Especially because I don’t think all marriages are ordained by God. We force ourselves into some because we are pregnant, wealth, love, age, society, peer pressure whatever it is, lust even when we have all the red flags.

First of all it’s okay not to get married, society shouldn’t dictate. It’s okay not to want children or want one or four or 20 as you please not what the world says is right. Don’t give in for the sake of your sanity. It’s also okay to get married at 40 or whatever age you find it right and pleasing.

Did the deceased talk to people? Probably they told her to be strong and hang on.

Are we taught to stay in toxic relationships because we fear the aftermath, the kids, the things built together the memories we hold together? Okay for the sake of Marriage the kids will suffer the break up but they will also suffer consequences of a toxic union so make the right choice because Death shouldn’t be it no matter the choice. We tell these girls everything they should do soon as they hit adolescence but have we rejected the men?

What does a man do in a toxic relationship?

How do they deal with anger?

Many women, myself inclusive live in carelessness because we are taught as African women to uphold family honor and be patient even when it kills your mental, physical and emotional health. We take all the abuse ad “die heroes”.

Who started this narrative?

“That is how marriage is” seems to mean take everything thrown at you. Do you think Christ was stupid to die on the cross or when he said “if you burn marry but being alone is better” Did he build the institution on spite or you think he was drunk to preach love, love in Corinthians.

Why do we prefer to return home in coffins when we left in heels and makeup just at the expense of abuse? Don’t we love ourselves just enough!

Normal men that were groomed well, speak up! Don’t let this eat us all up because of few that were probably broken as young men

Do the church vows need to be revised from “till death do us part” because we shall really die?

My heart is bleeding yet I didn’t even know her in person. Rest in peace Violet Kakai

elevate your voice

She sat at the kitchen floor,

Her skirt soaked in blood and her face swollen from beating,

It wasn’t the first time

But they told her women fight in silence.

They don’t speak where men dine.

She was raised to take care of him and nurture his dreams

Hers were only as important as her heart could stretch

Yet he still didn’t appreciate the effort

She had tried everything,

Made sure she looked good

Even if it meant wearing layers of foundation to cover up his deeds

She couldn’t speak because Society raised her this way

It taught her to stay silent even when it broke her

It taught her that abuse was normal

That pain was part of the package

That her dreams were nothing but just dreams

She was tailored for the kitchen

And modeled for a wife

Nothing more nothing less

How about double effort

You are the flesh of his flesh

Bone of his bone

From his rib, you were modeled

Your dreams too should flourish

Your rights should be respected

Abuse isn’t okay

Education shouldn’t be for the chosen few

Without you they are as extinct as the word

Silence is deadly…

Elevate your voice

Don’t just satisfy your mouth with good things

For its rain that blooms roses not the thunder despite their price tag

The layers of foundation don’t matter when the light in your eyes is dim

weakness is a foreign currency to females and we have been inflated from the beginning of time

For too long we have seen ourselves as victims yet we are victors

Silence is deadly, they sing

Speak now or forever hold your peace

#PuzzledLines

I saw men mourn

the district covered in silence

the veil had been slit apart

Darkness fell

the silence was defeaning

too many questions, no answers

the glory of the women dimmed

the authority of men shuttered.

ophans wept

Blood creating erosion

I saw my country men mourn

wome covered in fear,

paupers and beggars in hiding

the crown had been stepped on

shadows had been created

hope was erased

my country was raped.

The nation was deflowered.image110