Tag: affection

Nothing between us

You short butterflies in my tummy

Yet ignored the smile

I blamed the dust and wind when my eyes watered

Maybe there was nothing between us but

120 days ago I was heart broken

I sat at my fav cafe sipping tea

The spices were too strong my eyes watered

You walked up to me

Told me you have been watching me for years

We became friends

I promised I wasn’t ready or you would be a rebound

But your sweet soul took me to dinner

Asked me out,

When I asked for time you became elusive

Stopped calling and texted only when necessary

I didn’t reject you

When I said wait for me is because I didn’t want to hurt you

I needed to be sure my feelings weren’t playing

I just needed a couple of weeks to place and settle my hurt but

 

You shot the butterflies in my stomach

Blamed the dust for the water in my eyes

Ignored not just my smile

Told me you weren’t willing to wait

Yet you had already waited 730 days

Acted like you had never known me

Maybe you were right

There was nothing between us

But why do I still gape at the sight of you

Why does my stomach flip

And my tongue ties?

I know you feel the same way

But maybe there’s nothing between us

 

Love and goodbyes

Nothing changed in the last 20 years

He kisses her cheek and she smiles back but

When his wife calls out

He hides the photo in the closet

Acts like he was looking for something to wear

Acts like he didn’t hear the first time she called

He fakes it until she taps his shoulder

Sometimes love isn’t enough

But what hurts more?

Lying to the one you hold

Or spending twenty years with hurt

She knew she wasn’t the love of his life

Infact, she knew he wasn’t in love with her

Maybe just the idea of her

But years kept giving her hope

His actions spoke different

She was prepared but again it hurt like hell

She noticed his heart skipped at the park

He saw her again after twenty years

She was all he ever wanted

She saw how anxious he got

Then she knew, her time was up

Darling, she said

I know for twenty years you still kept her photo

Twenty years, you kissed her cheek

And still called her name in your dreams.

Just take care of our children

And I hope she is available for you

She returned home with a broken heart

Packed her bags and left a note

“For 10 years I planned this

But I didn’t have courage

Or I was in denial

But he will never love me like her

Even when I prepared,

I am breaking so bad.

Goodbye”

he’s a fraud!

teaching your body to forget!
if my brain can’t stop running how again is my body expected to forget
how do you even forget those fingers tracing the circumference of your waist,
how do you forget lips that parted your legs and breathed at the lips of your kitty
how do you even go to sleep ignoring the goose bumps, the thoughts of him are awakened by
how do your forget the tracing, the touching, the weight of his body against yours
how do you even forget the scent you melt and held your breath to because you wanted it to last for eternity
how do you forget the only thing that keeps you alive
a face you are almost sure you will never see but never want to put with
maybe its easy to forget a pattern, even if he was doing it daily
but its hard to forget a face that left you hungry and thirsty for a while before they satisfied the desire

nah you don’t forget a figure that drew you in for a kiss like you were on scene for a Korean -romance drama.

they said he is a fraud

because he came into your life like he had rehearsed the mills and boons

he dint even love color blue, but he read and studied your social media
his body naked……screaming sex sex sex like he is David Beckham wearing CK underwear
he was almost 40 but the sexiest man i have met.
his lips against mine were like a rose petal brushing over
the way he explored my body…like he was just an artist carefully sketching it on paper
he played the piano and loved street walks in the night
his body in a tux …Glory glory
but then he left as soon as he came.

When she left

You were priotising your job

You didn’t care about her emotions

You thought she was being dramatic calling every hour

She left when you stopped having time for her

She left long before she walked out

When you refused to return her calls

When u started to put her in the shadows

Her heart walked out long before she left.

When the things that made her smile started becoming a burden

When you stopped cheering her on even at the least of effort

She left when the outsiders noticed her clothes before you did

When winning with her became a one man’s struggle

She left when she stopped feeling appreciated

When her heart couldn’t handle the absence and she felt like she was dating herself

When behind the lines, you said you were doing her a favor

She killed all her dreams because you said she was too ambitious and you didn’t like it

She was long gone before she walked out.

The silence that deafened the stereo

The nitty gritty judgement you subtly threw at her

Her heart left when she noticed she was in love with herself and only herself was in this relationship

But that day, you didn’t show pay ay attention to her illness and simply said you were thinking about her

Your absence in the past trying moment of her life

She could have lost her life but your speech and actions didn’t match.

Then she was done….and slowly prepared her heart for the exit.

All she needed was Abit of presence and some spare time. Even and hour of attention a day wouldn’t hurt. But she knew, love alone wasn’t enough.

She went home expected no closure even when her brain demanded.

She left then….

Dear heart

Today I felt as low as I felt the same day four years ago. I felt overwhelmed but also I had hope. I always have hope but am wondering, is this hope affiliated to you or the soul?

Hope is one of those things I can’t live without. I just don’t know how anyway.

Today I played the same exact songs that I played then. Now, there’s a certain place this music sends me to. A zone I can’t explain. Is music affiliated to you or the spirit?

This kind sends me places and makes me feel a certain type of way, as if am staring deep at a child in worship….(oh there is nothing more humbling than this) the innocence, the honesty, the infancy…..

Worship is just another setting

Love is another zone

Dear heart, if this must be my drug, I wanna keep high forever. If all this is affiliated with you in any way, teach me how to stay in this zone. It’s a safe haven. In it, nothing else matters. They say, smoke weed and feel…..i say inhale worship and everything else will fall in place

Truly

Me…gracefully broken.

Dear heart

What do tears do to you?

Yesterday I was all kinds of emotions (not exactly sure how you handle these at ago. )

Then tears….the way I felt relieved all over a sudden is amazing.

I was burning and as soon as I opened the taps, it felt like rain over a fire.

And the sleep after crying is another story…its sleep from a different planet.

The tears washed down all my emotions even with zero solution to my issues, I felt like I could concur the world 👌

Who even made tears?

Dear heart, life doesn’t have to be that serious I know. Sometimes it overwhelms but with tears, tea and cake we overcome. Let’s love more tonight

Dear heart

Sometimes all you need is you. No brain, no friends, no company, no radio silence…just an empty head and a silent soul.

I didn’t say speak today, let’s just get some quiet we surely all need it.

I don’t even want to love myself today, everything is on holiday

Dear heart, I know the day you say Selah you might skip or stop beating. Blood won’t flow as you go about your work today, do it silently, maybe then cupid will never know there’s something special right here.

Truly

Life

Dear heart,

Today I am singing Isabella by sauti sol…. It has become a favorite. I know lyrics by heart.

This is where we started… from a business meeting to a both of wine. We were the last at the bar…😂😂… We were later sitting on the paveme and hungry….life. Well I did think we would connect this much then until we sat out for tea just to gossip and (laminate)😂😂. We Boda Boda our humble beginning and you usually remind me of how famous you will get (am rehearsing my wave)

So put on those shoes that I like…..okulya sente si kulya mwana

Dear heart, I appreciate how wealthy you have become and please continue to stay humble

Thanks for keeping faith and waiting on my crazy ass #ItWasAs…..

Truly

Life

Dear heart

I find it strange that you know how to love even after those many broken pieces.

Those many times you cried and swore not to give a piece of yourself again but you still have managed To go by each day with hope. You have still believed for the best in people even those that make promises you doubt they can keep but still you deliver them your soul.

Who are you even?

What kind of clay molded a thing so precious that even bruised continues to have blood flow through it when it could just stop.

Dear heart, today I thought of the many times I wanted t give up but you refused to let go. You are the real MVP. A true definition of love