Tag: death

CRIMES OF PASSION

Sydney sims -unsplash

So, while I was scrolling through Facebook and twitter I land on this Obituary/ death announcement of an IHK nurse that was hacked to death by her husband INFRONT OF HER KIDS no you didn’t hear me. He axed her in the sight of her children. Well, according to the people that seem to know the story. But it’s not the first case. Women a buried in septic tanks.

Last week a video was posted the lady was smashing the man’s car and the man was recording while telling the kids “see your mother is mad” and she was asking him to stop feeding her kids with lies she isn’t mad. She was getting back at him for something but that’s a story we online don’t know so we can’t tell reason for reaction. She was criticized in all ways positive and negative but I got lots of questions on my mind and why such crimes seem justified and why the law has to first check the mental health of the criminal to be sure he is mentally steady. My heart sunk for the kids. The image, the sight will never depart. I really pray they find a home (without him) that will nurture them and console and love and take good care of them.

Now the questions. No matter the reason no one deserves to take another life in the name of anger and frustration and I wasn’t thinking nonsense.

We need to change the narrative and stop stigmatizing divorce. Now don’t get me wrong, I know what the bible says and I don’t support divorce, but if it is the only way our or reason to get sanity please get out even God loves the Divorcee (am sure he will understand or not). Especially because I don’t think all marriages are ordained by God. We force ourselves into some because we are pregnant, wealth, love, age, society, peer pressure whatever it is, lust even when we have all the red flags.

First of all it’s okay not to get married, society shouldn’t dictate. It’s okay not to want children or want one or four or 20 as you please not what the world says is right. Don’t give in for the sake of your sanity. It’s also okay to get married at 40 or whatever age you find it right and pleasing.

Did the deceased talk to people? Probably they told her to be strong and hang on.

Are we taught to stay in toxic relationships because we fear the aftermath, the kids, the things built together the memories we hold together? Okay for the sake of Marriage the kids will suffer the break up but they will also suffer consequences of a toxic union so make the right choice because Death shouldn’t be it no matter the choice. We tell these girls everything they should do soon as they hit adolescence but have we rejected the men?

What does a man do in a toxic relationship?

How do they deal with anger?

Many women, myself inclusive live in carelessness because we are taught as African women to uphold family honor and be patient even when it kills your mental, physical and emotional health. We take all the abuse ad “die heroes”.

Who started this narrative?

“That is how marriage is” seems to mean take everything thrown at you. Do you think Christ was stupid to die on the cross or when he said “if you burn marry but being alone is better” Did he build the institution on spite or you think he was drunk to preach love, love in Corinthians.

Why do we prefer to return home in coffins when we left in heels and makeup just at the expense of abuse? Don’t we love ourselves just enough!

Normal men that were groomed well, speak up! Don’t let this eat us all up because of few that were probably broken as young men

Do the church vows need to be revised from “till death do us part” because we shall really die?

My heart is bleeding yet I didn’t even know her in person. Rest in peace Violet Kakai

By sunset

being in a relationship won’t cure your loneliness
riding on the horseback into a sunset of a marriage wont cure your sadness
we win some and lose some
because love as it is doesn’t guarantee happiness

how can you be mad if you don’t remember?
to forgive is not always to forget
so stop making excuses because the hug is warm,
the sex is good,
and the heart wants what it wants
again..
don’t ride into a sunset of a marriage because
at dawn the tears will flow
the ache will return
the thumping will be loud
darkness will cloud you
but don’t say,
i was blind.
And don’t blame love

josh applegate

why are you accepting his ring when you haven’t forgotten
why is he on one knee when you both didn’t heal
love,
did i hear love
change?
are you God!
Love?
are you insane?
well when the sunrises, we shall be dressed in purple
with hankies and hymn books
silently crying at the church pews
our hearts grieving
his back being patted by another not you
and by sunset, you will be lowered
At sunrise we will walk the streets like nothing ever happened.

Survival

First we adhered

Then hunger attacked us

The same men that sent us to exile

And promised to feed us

Abused and called us ungrateful

What if it was all a myth

A scramble for power at the expense of the citizens

What if it never really existed

And you just needed to withdraw money from the masses

What if it’s just a super game plan

First they got scared

They prayed silently for God to rescue the land

Then they noticed it wasn’t going anywhere

And a lot of politics was being played

At the expense of their survival

Do you know how hurt they are

How many lives are lost to hunger not covid

Or how many the security men have battered

Curfew was okay,

But how do you support a cause you know nothing about?

If they could all turn to the streets

If they could all have courage to sue you

If you could reach out once and know the pain

They have suffered with the economy

That to some, living is better than death

But here we are

Jobless and hungry

With loads of work but no money to pay support

With decaying goods no one is buying

Because breath isn’t a luxury,

Food and clothes has become a none basic need

We are struggling to see the next sun

Watching news daily waiting an address

Weeping due to domestic violence and child abuse

Trying to understand the panic media caused

Believing it wasn’t politics being played

Praying that we still have jobs

Even with salaries cut

Geeks are as expensive as mental health

Yet we have no choice but to survive

It’s not survival for the fittest.

It’s just SURVIVAL

#Puzzledlines

of dried withered wild roses
the death scent stinks
they lay symmetrical as if they were on parade
and today, they lower yet another heart afar
next to the dusty concrete on my left.
i hear someone weep
she sat down her head laying on the concrete
she tries to dust it but her tears stain it
besides her are fresh wild roses
i want to walk by but
my tongue is tied and my legs frozen.
I simply look up to the skies and a thunder roars
a twirl plays and lifts the scent of death and grief with it.
far right a family sings kumbaya as they pay last respects
My thoughts run to hospital
i see the patients in ICU and emergency unit
i walk through the corridors and the smell death.
death, death

Grief the thief

I was thinking of coming home today. Suddenly my head rushed to presidents house and I was excited to come see you and tell you of our progress then grief that silly thing hit.

I forgot you are gone. Maybe that is what love does, never lets you forget. My thoughts still speak to me of you like you are still here. But this kinda heartache I feel even in my bones.

It will heal, someday but also maybe I need patience. I know it will get better,I will be fine but just not today. Maybe not soon.

I was smiling telling Nations of you and boom, stupid grief paused our moment for a few. Maybe grief is the price we pay for love. But also these are just my maybes.

I think I will miss you forever , like the stars miss the ☀️. Time only can tell.

I still do cry when I miss you. Sometimes I cry out of the blu….I can only hope

The day of this pic, you were “happy”.You said you wanted a full pic if you were to get an ID and no you still didn’t register.

All I have is my heart and in Thea I shall live with you.

Months gone but feels like yesterday!

Fuck grief

Fuck death

Fuck pain.

If love could have saved you

#WinterABC 18

by the time he woke up i was dying, no. Not from malaria, but from his emotional and physical abuse. I was done fighting and yet i couldn’t gather the energy to walk away from him.

Last night he beat her up so badly that the sustained cut on her head reopened. She didn’t call for help because she didn’t want to lose her position in her husbands house. He wasn’t drunk if at all that’s an excuse, she just told him to go back and eat at his mistress’ house because she had only made food for herself and the children. The foolish girls like he called them. Her woes started the day the doctor said it was risky for her to conceive again and she hadn’t given him a son. A son so that his status amongst his peers is befitting. She had no job because he stopped her from working. She was scared to leave him, she preferred to die

And when he got up, she was on the floor fighting to breathe. She had drugged herself and not even the drive to hospital could save her

Never-ender final

when she started to hallucinate, she knew this whole relationship was a bad idea. She saw him in every male on the street or driving by. She would tap strangers and apologize. Was this who addicts feel?

She fell ill. He didn’t come to see her despite the messages she left. He read them but he didn’t react. To him it was another of the seasons, she will be fine and when he is ready he would see her. She stayed bedridden for months but also kept her Social media Time lines positive with photos she took in the past and didn’t post. She didn’t mention her illness like he expected.

One day, he called, the phone screen read Never ending…her sister picked up the phone.

“hello” she said. He immediately could tell it wasn’t her even when the voices sounded alike. She has never responded like that.

Hi, may i please speak…

Before he finished he said. Hey, i knew you would call, she had told me about you. she said you are like the wind, you blow her in all directions you want yet she cant catch you.She even doesn’t understand you. She thought she did at that start. But hey Mr never ending, your tree is in coma, the forest wasn’t thick enough. Hurry before the sunsets. Mulago private wing room 003

he couldn’t believe his ears. fell silent and after a while managed a “thank you.” the night had never been long like it was, soon as the first sun came out, he was on the ride. an hrs drive seemed like 8hrs. when he arrived, in all composure,his knees were failing him. He felt like he was suffocating. He stopped at the door to the reception area to breath in and out “why am i feeling like this”. He thought he had much power over her until this moment. it was clear, her effect on him was no joke he was tucking it away with his ego the whole while. His heart ached.

Hi am here to see a patient in room 003,

what is the name? the lady asked

he looked at her and for the first time ever he notices, he had never called her by name

Gwen,he said

the lady raised her face from the notes she was making. …

I am sorry but Gwen passed last night.

He didn’t know his knees and legs wouldn’t carry him to the waiting chairs, he didn’t expect his fall, but right there he was on the hospital floor, helpless. The sister he knew but had never physically met was coming from the other end of the corridor with doctors, she noticed him, pat him on the shoulder and asked the nurses to help him up to the chairs.

She owed him no explanation but none the less spoke without being asked.

“she tried to communicate. Check the ignored messages and emails” but well, she left a letter. I will go get it for you. she walked back to the corridor, disappeared at the far end and returned with a brown sealed envelop. Tears were uncontrollably running down his face. She didn’t just write one letter, Even the sister didn’t know. She left one in the envelop amidst the silence intervals.

When he composed himself, returned to his car, opened his phone, and went through the unread emails and texts. None mentioned what had killed her. He was ashamed to ask.

he scrolled through the pictures of her on his phone and wept! called up a friend to drive him home and keep him updated on burial plans. But when he got to read the first two letters, he realized, he wasn’t worth it. He wanted to apologize but it was late. Even in death she still loved him. while he just started to realize he suppressed his feelings this whole while. he went silent until two months later

He hasn’t been able to love again nor remove the photos of her in his house but he doesn’t know, She isn’t Dead, she was tired and her illness showed her how important she is to him after. She had included the sister and nurses in her plan. She was getting better on her sick bed but better only to love herself and suppress the feelings she had for him. The heart is a bitch, even after she healed the heart demanded

Sister: What next?

her: I love him deep. Maybe he loves me back. I have never doubted until now that i say it

Sister: So, why then…would you rather be sad?

Her: This match, isn’t heaven made.

#puzzledlines2020

A quiet heart doesn’t fret over its worries but then,
what should i do with the voices in my head

should i ignore my head for the memories it plays back or should i ignore my heart
should i burn the photographs,
erase all the good times and the sad
how do i deal with the memories we made together
how should i let go of you
to live like i have never known you
to walk past you like i had never run into your embrace
to wince like my smile had never beamed at the sight of a text from you
tell me, how to go on without you
do these thoughts confuse you too?

Granny

27th June,

She is here, Grandma.

Today Facebook reminded me, i thought it will just be another memory

but then, Facebook doesn’t know which memories we like to re-read or not

i said i wouldn’t cry but now i feel my nose do that thing it does when i hold tears back hard

She is here!

she has her father’s smile and Bugingo’s eyes. she is Beautiful, grandma.

Just like you always said she would be one day

She is warm like her father and Jolly like her mama (haha)

I know you have seen her

she is petite too and has very beautiful hair

Ooh Lord!! she is Cake. And i love her

Yes i have too much of that to pour out

I have told her alot about you

and yes, she loves her names.

 

Still waters run deep and sometimes i feel like inside me is an ocean full of unsaid words

Murder , she baked #end

This man must have nine lives like a cat. he refuses to die and they plan on bringing him home. I hope they pay up a nurse because all his baby mamas are gone and i am not going to take the place of taking care of a vegetable every single day. He has delayed all my plans basically because i don’t want to leave the country before his burial. It will also not be as good if i don’t get to bury and hear the will and i wouldn’t want to return just to do that.

I know what to do. I am going to quicken him. probably cover his face with a pillow and wait for the nurse to announce him dead. And the newspaper headlines Front page will read “Mayor Dead” And then I will finally have my peace and get away from all this for a while. Nope, i aint guilty