Tag: joshagaba.wordpress.com


Dancing in the rain

It’s been five days,120 hours and it feels like I have known you for 360 days (sigh). These past few days have been so beautiful and fun. I have learnt to dance in the rain and enjoy the mud . I have learnt to cry in the rain as well, because you have taught me that it a times hurts.

I am not going to love you till it stops to hurt because then it will only mean you are growing numb and it’s fading out. Like a rose in bloom the thorns never cease to grow. My love, it will hurt sometimes because atimes we pluck flowers from the wrong angle.

I have learnt to love selflessly these few days but the most exciting part is that I have learnt to let go and walk besides you withholding nothing, not afraid that I will hurt my toe because you are taking me by hand and my sight is blinded by your beauty.





Today I decided the letter would be hard for me to pass on. My fingers were hot with vibe and I decided today I will tell you how I feel, how I am in a rhythmic tongue. I hope you are well my love and the sun is shining bright that end. I walked out this morning and I was on fire, I burnt with love. I kept screaming “give me way, I am on fire, Sibokya.” Look what your love has done to me.

Am on fire

Burning with love for this man

My body is in a rage,

My heart is as hot as cinder

My eyes are blinded with smoke

Am on fire

Only your soft touch calms?

My temperature is so high

I can’t bring it down.





Dear you,

Today I know not how exactly to write, start or what to even say. The past few days have been so beautiful that I started to envy my own life. It feels like autumn down here. Every leaf feels like a flower, see how red you have me painted?

Did I pass on my greetings?… Pardon my manners, its only that I have ‘kinda’ forgotten how to live like I am all that matters. I have always desired to spread my wings and let my spirit soar but when you came into my life that came off effortlessly.

The sunshine speaks and its voice is of a hummingbird. You letters speak and the tone is that of Boaz to Naomi. I believe in love, not love songs because every artist has a story that glitters half seen, half guessed and half heard.

With you, I cannot learn about love because it appears on your wings of grace. I will learn as we grow old. I will bend with every wind and storm and stand firm with every summer season. So, keep my heart right where yours is kept, guard it with your life, body and soul. With your every being protect it. I don’t want to wake up some day with my curtains drawn back and my blue reading in black “there was once something special here”. Let it read in bold red “I have no heart, because he keeps it better than I can”.






Dear you.

Today, I woke up wearing grace of a thousand angels. The sun rose in my face, kissing my cheeks good morning. I wasn’t crying in the rain anymore, I was smiling at the sunrise with my eyes closed in envy of the morning. How are you today handsome?

When I was broken, my mama often told me, ‘don’t cry my girl, when he comes your world will stand still for a while’. I thought it was just one of those talks to make me feel better, but that day, my world for once stood still for a few seconds. Maybe minutes. Many nights I sat up late, hoping you would come through the door or call a wrong number and finally you walked right in, with the allure of Alex. You wired me.

Quiet my spirit with your love a sweet symphony, play me note by note. Yes I will run away with you. I will go anywhere and everywhere for you have painted my life with a bolder colour. I need more of you. I had forgotten how to love like this, Missing had become a myth. You have patched back every piece of my wounded heart that I had thrown away because I didn’t want to have a heart anymore. Now I keep my eyes raised up and only towards you my sun, and the shadows will fall behind me. (whispers) Just hold my hand.

with love



There is an end to knowledge, love……..

I no longer need to get a away to know what I want. I have been taken a notch higher that I have gained strength. This evening I stretched out my once holy hands and bent my knees because hope has been rebuilt. I know I love you strong enough not to get back to my old habits. 

So, today, I went to the saloon after a long while and I vowed not to attribute glory to you that only belongs to God but I vow to love with you with an attitude such as his. Stay with you and by you as long as I breathe

You are still the man my vision sang to last season that has helped me rebuild trust. My face is sore from smiling at the picture of you in my palms. There is an end to knowledge….love. God! I can’t love without trust because it breeds honesty. And if I said I love you and didn’t trust you, then hold me accountable. Yes, I am responsible for my every do on this journey.

With love, my prayers have been answered. I know love may not awaken the dead but, once it lays over you like thousands of men and not only frustrates every vein in your system, then you will never understand its power. That is the beginning and the end. It’s like an endless road. See how beautiful you have made me look even in your absence? Look at me staring back at you, see the stars in you eyes. Through you, I see a version of me I always have dreamt of becoming. Let’s keep the faith and our flowers will never wither.




Dear you,

I love that fact that you are always writing. I love writing and it just got better that I do not have to explain my feelings in speech even when I talk a lot, i express myself better in ink.

I feel like I know you already that even when I am left alone in the cathedral abbey I would smell you from a far and stay convinced that you would never leave. I trust you even though I do not know you and that’s all I ever want to know. The memories of you I desire to keep are in ink but I have engraved them at the left of my chest because that’s the only way I ever want to know you. Sweet,romantic, simple and Godly.

Last year I picked up my paint brushes and painted a picture of me torn. It sold out before I could wake up so hesitantly I picked up my ink and paper and lazily sat on my bed and started to pen down the dreams I had killed. The glory that once shinned upon me was like half open blinds, my submission dropping down and cleansing the ink that I attempted to redesign and then you came like a crowd of rain over a desert.

Last night when I held your hand, nothing ever felt that beautiful in a while. I was finally home after a long while of being prodigal. Like a stranger in my own skin my stomach laughed. I found my self taken in the embrace of your love.




Dear you,

I believe you are well from the last time i communicated. I am doing quite well even when i have spent nights pacing about the corridors of my house wondering if you would respond.

There have been no nights my side, no dawn, only beautiful morning of plucking petals off flowers in my garden wondering how much you love me. Before our first encounter, i was nursing and fighting pain but the image of you that i have painted in my head has sanctified me with an affection i never expected.

So, last night as i paced about, a song came to mind and i was humming to “butterfly kisses”

For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer
Stickin’ little white flowers all up in her hair…”
I knock at my door left a letter from you that got me blushing to myself. We could start with forever if it aint too much. Nothing is ever going to frustrate the image of you that i have painted in my head even when it could battle with your reality, i prefer to keep my own version of you.

I didn’t think i was this empty till, you came by. lets see how this child we have conceived will look like tomorrow. I can’t promise you a today or tomorrow, i will start with me.




Dear you,

I relate with you on these drowning fears. I close my eyes to an Amen knowing she was a blessing even if it was only for a while. I am glad you actually crossed paths. I have had lots of similar stories including mine and truthfully, I bow my head to accepting the disappointment. (moments like these teach us patience)

Your tone hurts my knees so bad that my eyelids couldn’t hold back the tears as I read on. All Prayers get answer that’s what my Sunday school teacher taught me. I am not okay with the doubt you carry in your tone. Have you tried to find out if she would like to be taken out or even go out of your way to find out which roses she loves most? I mean, there could actually be more only if you would pay more attention to her silence. Maybe she is a bit traditional yet very simple. Chivalry isn’t as dead as we make it appear. The sun doesn’t have to rise and set in her eyes, it could as well do the same in yours.

If you have chosen top lover her, persist because love is selfless. You do not want to go to bed tomorrow with a tainted picture of her because of the emptiness you feel. You shouldn’t feel Lonely when alone. Paint the image of her at the walls of your heart. One day, maybe just one day before fourteenth, you won’t be buying yourself wine and closing the door behind your loneliness and she will be knocking to a silent heart that can’t even hear the whisper of a joyful heart.

Now, get that prayer back and make the best of it. Meditate on it like it’s your life and on that day, when the light in your eyes refuses to shine, you won’t be creating excuses or explaining yourself.


Until then, I remain yours truly