when she started to hallucinate, she knew this whole relationship was a bad idea. She saw him in every male on the street or driving by. She would tap strangers and apologize. Was this who addicts feel?
She fell ill. He didn’t come to see her despite the messages she left. He read them but he didn’t react. To him it was another of the seasons, she will be fine and when he is ready he would see her. She stayed bedridden for months but also kept her Social media Time lines positive with photos she took in the past and didn’t post. She didn’t mention her illness like he expected.
One day, he called, the phone screen read Never ending…her sister picked up the phone.
“hello” she said. He immediately could tell it wasn’t her even when the voices sounded alike. She has never responded like that.
Hi, may i please speak…
Before he finished he said. Hey, i knew you would call, she had told me about you. she said you are like the wind, you blow her in all directions you want yet she cant catch you.She even doesn’t understand you. She thought she did at that start. But hey Mr never ending, your tree is in coma, the forest wasn’t thick enough. Hurry before the sunsets. Mulago private wing room 003
he couldn’t believe his ears. fell silent and after a while managed a “thank you.” the night had never been long like it was, soon as the first sun came out, he was on the ride. an hrs drive seemed like 8hrs. when he arrived, in all composure,his knees were failing him. He felt like he was suffocating. He stopped at the door to the reception area to breath in and out “why am i feeling like this”. He thought he had much power over her until this moment. it was clear, her effect on him was no joke he was tucking it away with his ego the whole while. His heart ached.
Hi am here to see a patient in room 003,
what is the name? the lady asked
he looked at her and for the first time ever he notices, he had never called her by name
the lady raised her face from the notes she was making. …
I am sorry but Gwen passed last night.
He didn’t know his knees and legs wouldn’t carry him to the waiting chairs, he didn’t expect his fall, but right there he was on the hospital floor, helpless. The sister he knew but had never physically met was coming from the other end of the corridor with doctors, she noticed him, pat him on the shoulder and asked the nurses to help him up to the chairs.
She owed him no explanation but none the less spoke without being asked.
“she tried to communicate. Check the ignored messages and emails” but well, she left a letter. I will go get it for you. she walked back to the corridor, disappeared at the far end and returned with a brown sealed envelop. Tears were uncontrollably running down his face. She didn’t just write one letter, Even the sister didn’t know. She left one in the envelop amidst the silence intervals.
When he composed himself, returned to his car, opened his phone, and went through the unread emails and texts. None mentioned what had killed her. He was ashamed to ask.
he scrolled through the pictures of her on his phone and wept! called up a friend to drive him home and keep him updated on burial plans. But when he got to read the first two letters, he realized, he wasn’t worth it. He wanted to apologize but it was late. Even in death she still loved him. while he just started to realize he suppressed his feelings this whole while. he went silent until two months later
He hasn’t been able to love again nor remove the photos of her in his house but he doesn’t know, She isn’t Dead, she was tired and her illness showed her how important she is to him after. She had included the sister and nurses in her plan. She was getting better on her sick bed but better only to love herself and suppress the feelings she had for him. The heart is a bitch, even after she healed the heart demanded
Sister: What next?
her: I love him deep. Maybe he loves me back. I have never doubted until now that i say it
Sister: So, why then…would you rather be sad?
Her: This match, isn’t heaven made.