I know you must have read this title before but then i hadn’t yet become a Mrs. Now that i am one i want to tell you about a few findings that still puzzle me
So, back in the day i was addressed as the person pleased and i didn’t mind. Its not like i mind now but it surprises me that in African society Marriage comes with status, a demeanor and a different “aura” of respect.
Yesterday i was signing some papers and i had to Use my husband’s name. Yes i have not legally changed my name as yet …(i think one day i will) but depending on environment or situation i use it. My National ID has my birth names so i still dread the whole mess of changing because just replacing my ID took a year or running around with details the system already had. Anyway, When the guy looked at my fingers (i had spoken to him on phone) but in person after analyzing me, his tone changed. Then i noticed, how everyone in my space looked at me different after the wedding. Marriage comes with maturity , i don’t know about cohabitation.
I respond to all my names now, Some people especially in-laws and few friends address me by my Husband’s name since marriage. My Family uses everything as they please and few of others still call me Kadali like nothing happened(i love these more) They do acknowledged that i am married and know boundaries not to cross but then still know I’m same old person, few changes because i no-longer sleep alone or cant just party fwaa..i need to plan (i was never spontaneous all the same.) But of course now i have to communicate because i have people involved that depend on me.
My point of writing. One person asked me why i wasn’t proud because my ID didn’t read my husbands name. I asked them what difference it makes, she said “a lot”. But i had already introduced myself as a Mrs with the name the papers i hold still walk by. She wasn’t pleased at all hmmm. I’m very proud being my husband’s wife and my Daughters’ mother. so don’t be mistaken. And i am proud of his name.
I also learned that some jobs require one to be married they don’t employ singles or marrieds in the organization are awarded some kind of respect and addressed different. Even the table of “men” looks at them different
So i have learned to go by Mrs. S.A.B in speech and when questioned about the B, I have to explain i haven’t yet legally changed even when by “Status” i have and i use it.
Is it a must to legally take on the name?
What is in a name?
Everything . I was reading on this site and the Author said. Everything is in a name https://streamspouredout.com/what-is-in-a-name/
i guess there’s much more to the legacy it carries or may carry than just being called or its meaning.
Hey, i’m Mrs S.A. B.
Are you married?
Are you using his name?
Do you face these kind of people?