Tag: new beginnings

Letters 21

I want to write to you a letter my love.

A letter of love, a letter of thought, a letter under the stars.

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling wishing I had those sticker stars that glow. I stare into the emptiness of the dark. Wondering if one wishing star could just swing by 👌🏼for a while. I am imagining a house with no roof. Perhaps a glass house by the beach

You know I love sunsets because they give me hope and make me feel accomplished. So a glass house by the beach would give me a perfect view. But I also love a dark sky on a cold night. Stars twinkling around a full moon.

A whole horizon at the neck of the sea, still waters whispering sweet nothings. The day was beautiful but with more chaos than expected. I need some quiet right here. Here where my thoughts speak nothing and my heart says … beautiful! ….

Where the waves kiss the shore a bit more loud and the palms sweat in harmony. In this hammock I wanna fall asleep hugging my knees and smiling at the stillness of my soul. Perhaps silently lay with you listening to the music of your heart. But, right here , I wanna lay alone to reflect on …. nothing!… but also about nothing because I just want to listen to nothing but my heart, the stars , the waves and the whispers of the wind. Here, is where I want to teach my soul about my heart, my mind about my body and my body, the language of love.

Together is a beautiful place

We came together from Egypt,

Where we were enslaved with emptiness and chained with hurt.

Our hands cuffed and souls chained with loneliness

With broken hearts we didn’t know what to do with.

We wore scars like our best attire, a stunning dress made of hell fire,

Some nights we cried more than we prayed.

But when I walked into your secret place,

And you let me lay down at your feet.

I knew i would call you love.

You strolled into my life like a thief, un-suspecting in the dark of the night,

Smelling of southern comfort and intelligence and filled with a sense of humor light as the sprinkles on cake frosting.

And I welcomed you.

I washed your feet with my tears and dried them with my hair.

You called it healing.

You called it the salvation that brought you to your knees to pop the question

and it reminded you of everything you missed.

Today, I dress you up as my temple,

I will cover you in scented candles and put gods to protect you.

Today, I’ll accept your love.

I won’t ask why me.

I will instead embrace it and say yes me.

I vow to love you with an attitude

An attitude of Christ

because you are still that woman my vision sang to.

taking stock 2019

Making: Plans for the year and trying to figure out how to accomplish them without straining and stressing

Cooking: Gizzards and i want to try out some Indian cuisines at my house

Drinking: Lots of water and tea and that isn’t about to stop anytime soon

Reading: Kintu by Makumbi. Its been long coming and i love the setting of the book. I plan on reading to books every month of the new year.

Wanting: A new closet, flowers, perfume and rack-sacks

Playing: All good music. So if you know of a good song, respond inbox with the title i will add to my playlist

Enjoying: My husband, daughter, family and friends and i plan on making more memories this new year

wasting: No time in making resolutions because i never meet them. I am taking one day at a time and catching up with last years’ resolutions as i incorporate this years theme

Creating: to do lists, for my entire life structure

Wondering: whether it is necessary for me to really start dressing up as if a girl. i love my jeans and sneakers, i don’t know if i want to try out make up and heels and dresses especially because i don’t want to draw attention and turn heads (it happens, blame my mama for the body)

Loving: My wall hangings, i plan on getting more

Hoping: that i accomplish all my goals this year because i don’t plan on leaving stones UN-turned, so pray with me

Marveling : at how people can be so insensitive and arrogant. I mean, choose a hustle don’t be both

Needing: More proper shoes, a camera and a new job (palms face)

Smelling: Anything Donna Kay. i have fallen in love with her scents

Wearing: Colored hair, Well, i don’t want to leave my 20s without doing some of these things

Noticing: That time is really a precious commodity and needs to be treasured and spent wisely. Like money. Time is money… And i need MONEY!

Knowing: that amidst the storm and the sunrise, God is still faithful even when we think he has lost his mind

Thinking: What i should blog about and how i will accomplish all these dreams

Planting: Succulents so if you know any, suggest and i am looking for the flower we call the nightingale but i think it has another name

Scared: About my own dreams. Yes i am dreaming wild for 2020 and i am even scared that as much as i am dreaming and believe i have a plan, i am afraid to start yet i must start

Feeling: Thankful, I don’t take this life for granted and everything that comes with it

Bookmarking: Blog posts. Tag a link if you write prose and short stories i need something new to sizzle the blogs i read from https://joseyphina.wordpress.com. She is amazing

Planning: on lots of travel,hope my bank account allows me:

Thankful: To you all that follow, read and comment. Lets do this next year and bigger and maybe plan for a personalized domain.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO FOR THE NEW YEARS?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Dear heart

Today I felt as low as I felt the same day four years ago. I felt overwhelmed but also I had hope. I always have hope but am wondering, is this hope affiliated to you or the soul?

Hope is one of those things I can’t live without. I just don’t know how anyway.

Today I played the same exact songs that I played then. Now, there’s a certain place this music sends me to. A zone I can’t explain. Is music affiliated to you or the spirit?

This kind sends me places and makes me feel a certain type of way, as if am staring deep at a child in worship….(oh there is nothing more humbling than this) the innocence, the honesty, the infancy…..

Worship is just another setting

Love is another zone

Dear heart, if this must be my drug, I wanna keep high forever. If all this is affiliated with you in any way, teach me how to stay in this zone. It’s a safe haven. In it, nothing else matters. They say, smoke weed and feel…..i say inhale worship and everything else will fall in place

Truly

Me…gracefully broken.

Dear heart

What do tears do to you?

Yesterday I was all kinds of emotions (not exactly sure how you handle these at ago. )

Then tears….the way I felt relieved all over a sudden is amazing.

I was burning and as soon as I opened the taps, it felt like rain over a fire.

And the sleep after crying is another story…its sleep from a different planet.

The tears washed down all my emotions even with zero solution to my issues, I felt like I could concur the world 👌

Who even made tears?

Dear heart, life doesn’t have to be that serious I know. Sometimes it overwhelms but with tears, tea and cake we overcome. Let’s love more tonight

Dear heart

Besides loving, what else we’re you created to do?

Okay, I know that you are also meant to keep the body functioning and life smoothly flowing… But then… Where do people breed hatred? Somehow I think the only space within is for love but also I realize, we spite a lot, we are ungrateful, we carry hatred some of us only live for a season.

Well, it’s a love season let me focus on what is important.

Dear heart, may you be rich. So full, very loving and soo humble. Avoid pride, it wrecks the whole system. And may you always give more than you can receive.

Truly

Us

Dear heart

Sometimes all you need is you. No brain, no friends, no company, no radio silence…just an empty head and a silent soul.

I didn’t say speak today, let’s just get some quiet we surely all need it.

I don’t even want to love myself today, everything is on holiday

Dear heart, I know the day you say Selah you might skip or stop beating. Blood won’t flow as you go about your work today, do it silently, maybe then cupid will never know there’s something special right here.

Truly

Life

Dear heart,

Today I am singing Isabella by sauti sol…. It has become a favorite. I know lyrics by heart.

This is where we started… from a business meeting to a both of wine. We were the last at the bar…😂😂… We were later sitting on the paveme and hungry….life. Well I did think we would connect this much then until we sat out for tea just to gossip and (laminate)😂😂. We Boda Boda our humble beginning and you usually remind me of how famous you will get (am rehearsing my wave)

So put on those shoes that I like…..okulya sente si kulya mwana

Dear heart, I appreciate how wealthy you have become and please continue to stay humble

Thanks for keeping faith and waiting on my crazy ass #ItWasAs…..

Truly

Life

Dear heart

I find it strange that you know how to love even after those many broken pieces.

Those many times you cried and swore not to give a piece of yourself again but you still have managed To go by each day with hope. You have still believed for the best in people even those that make promises you doubt they can keep but still you deliver them your soul.

Who are you even?

What kind of clay molded a thing so precious that even bruised continues to have blood flow through it when it could just stop.

Dear heart, today I thought of the many times I wanted t give up but you refused to let go. You are the real MVP. A true definition of love