Tag: relationships

puzzledline #26

oh tell me my love, what is it that caused you to tear

was it his recklessness or the unseriousness

did he say he wasn’t ready yet he led you on

or was it the unending ghosting and silly excuses

Was it the surprise parties he kept throwing

the endless gifts he showered you with

the too good to be true affection

or you are just an emotional peep

do you tear over things you see on tv?

Tell me my love,

Is it the endless complaints

and the cheating

or the girl he kept throwing in your face.

If it was the flowers, its okay.

Those things tend to make us sneeze so we tear

so do the perfumes and the love songs

Wait, was it the love song when you broke up

or the sad songs that spoke to your heart

or the movie scenes that reminded you of him

Was it because you were overwhelmed and your boss couldn’t stop yelling

Or the kids that never seemed to get independent

its okay, it doesn’t matter

regardless, its okay to tear, its therapy to the soul

Letters 21

I want to write to you a letter my love.

A letter of love, a letter of thought, a letter under the stars.

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling wishing I had those sticker stars that glow. I stare into the emptiness of the dark. Wondering if one wishing star could just swing by 👌🏼for a while. I am imagining a house with no roof. Perhaps a glass house by the beach

You know I love sunsets because they give me hope and make me feel accomplished. So a glass house by the beach would give me a perfect view. But I also love a dark sky on a cold night. Stars twinkling around a full moon.

A whole horizon at the neck of the sea, still waters whispering sweet nothings. The day was beautiful but with more chaos than expected. I need some quiet right here. Here where my thoughts speak nothing and my heart says … beautiful! ….

Where the waves kiss the shore a bit more loud and the palms sweat in harmony. In this hammock I wanna fall asleep hugging my knees and smiling at the stillness of my soul. Perhaps silently lay with you listening to the music of your heart. But, right here , I wanna lay alone to reflect on …. nothing!… but also about nothing because I just want to listen to nothing but my heart, the stars , the waves and the whispers of the wind. Here, is where I want to teach my soul about my heart, my mind about my body and my body, the language of love.

CRIMES OF PASSION

Sydney sims -unsplash

So, while I was scrolling through Facebook and twitter I land on this Obituary/ death announcement of an IHK nurse that was hacked to death by her husband INFRONT OF HER KIDS no you didn’t hear me. He axed her in the sight of her children. Well, according to the people that seem to know the story. But it’s not the first case. Women a buried in septic tanks.

Last week a video was posted the lady was smashing the man’s car and the man was recording while telling the kids “see your mother is mad” and she was asking him to stop feeding her kids with lies she isn’t mad. She was getting back at him for something but that’s a story we online don’t know so we can’t tell reason for reaction. She was criticized in all ways positive and negative but I got lots of questions on my mind and why such crimes seem justified and why the law has to first check the mental health of the criminal to be sure he is mentally steady. My heart sunk for the kids. The image, the sight will never depart. I really pray they find a home (without him) that will nurture them and console and love and take good care of them.

Now the questions. No matter the reason no one deserves to take another life in the name of anger and frustration and I wasn’t thinking nonsense.

We need to change the narrative and stop stigmatizing divorce. Now don’t get me wrong, I know what the bible says and I don’t support divorce, but if it is the only way our or reason to get sanity please get out even God loves the Divorcee (am sure he will understand or not). Especially because I don’t think all marriages are ordained by God. We force ourselves into some because we are pregnant, wealth, love, age, society, peer pressure whatever it is, lust even when we have all the red flags.

First of all it’s okay not to get married, society shouldn’t dictate. It’s okay not to want children or want one or four or 20 as you please not what the world says is right. Don’t give in for the sake of your sanity. It’s also okay to get married at 40 or whatever age you find it right and pleasing.

Did the deceased talk to people? Probably they told her to be strong and hang on.

Are we taught to stay in toxic relationships because we fear the aftermath, the kids, the things built together the memories we hold together? Okay for the sake of Marriage the kids will suffer the break up but they will also suffer consequences of a toxic union so make the right choice because Death shouldn’t be it no matter the choice. We tell these girls everything they should do soon as they hit adolescence but have we rejected the men?

What does a man do in a toxic relationship?

How do they deal with anger?

Many women, myself inclusive live in carelessness because we are taught as African women to uphold family honor and be patient even when it kills your mental, physical and emotional health. We take all the abuse ad “die heroes”.

Who started this narrative?

“That is how marriage is” seems to mean take everything thrown at you. Do you think Christ was stupid to die on the cross or when he said “if you burn marry but being alone is better” Did he build the institution on spite or you think he was drunk to preach love, love in Corinthians.

Why do we prefer to return home in coffins when we left in heels and makeup just at the expense of abuse? Don’t we love ourselves just enough!

Normal men that were groomed well, speak up! Don’t let this eat us all up because of few that were probably broken as young men

Do the church vows need to be revised from “till death do us part” because we shall really die?

My heart is bleeding yet I didn’t even know her in person. Rest in peace Violet Kakai

Akashaka ka Rukundo

If you were having tea with me…

Beaton taught me the line

I would seat you by the window

Let you smell the flowers at my table

Or just hand you a book

If you were having tea with me,

I would tell you about the pot I poured from

It’s my grandmas pot

But she has been gone a few years

She fenced her farm with a sweet herb

We called it a herb of love

Akashaka ka rukundo

If you were having tea with me

I would let you inhale the aroma

before I pour into your cup.

I would tell you that on many occasions

My food is spiced with love.

At the table I dined,

We held hands and said the grace

We shared smiles and tears

We spoke and learnt

If you were having a cup of tea with me

I would lead you to my fireplace

The place that holds my heart

A place that has heard many stories

I would throw you a shawl.

And tell you of the recipes that place has birthed

If you were pouring from my pot

I would tell you,

My grandma grew rosemary anywhere

It fenced the farm

It gated her home

I would tell you that without it a meal was incomplete

Now you would know that it’s a herb of love

It protected her house as much as her farm

It brought her family together and gave them warmth

And today as we drink from my pot

Of freshly brewed love

I tell you of the lessons my grandma taught me

I share my heart

I let you know that rosemary was her herb of love

And now it’s my herb

Akashaka kangye k’arunkundo

Because she didn’t know the English name

She called it love.

By sunset

being in a relationship won’t cure your loneliness
riding on the horseback into a sunset of a marriage wont cure your sadness
we win some and lose some
because love as it is doesn’t guarantee happiness

how can you be mad if you don’t remember?
to forgive is not always to forget
so stop making excuses because the hug is warm,
the sex is good,
and the heart wants what it wants
again..
don’t ride into a sunset of a marriage because
at dawn the tears will flow
the ache will return
the thumping will be loud
darkness will cloud you
but don’t say,
i was blind.
And don’t blame love

josh applegate

why are you accepting his ring when you haven’t forgotten
why is he on one knee when you both didn’t heal
love,
did i hear love
change?
are you God!
Love?
are you insane?
well when the sunrises, we shall be dressed in purple
with hankies and hymn books
silently crying at the church pews
our hearts grieving
his back being patted by another not you
and by sunset, you will be lowered
At sunrise we will walk the streets like nothing ever happened.

#PuzzledLines24

I like the way you bite your lips when, i hit that spot
the way your nails dig into my back
and your teeth clench against my neck
throwing your legs up to the ceiling
but you only call on me when its convenient for you
while you are my safe haven.
and know how to hold all my broken pieces from the past together
in you i found a love that i can’t keep
a lioness in bed
and lily in the day.
I can’t keep giving you what you want
while the flames of my love evaporate

MORE WINE…

jeff seipman

Can i use your shower, you ask. sitting at the edge of the bed your back turned to me. Yo have been seated in silence for the last 5 minutes. I could swear that i know you but again besides the words from your heart beat that fills the room, i haven’t heard your voice in a while.Its been long since i last saw you but i am familiar with your sweat scent. I know this love making, they can’t have the same skill. Tonight is different, dead cells in me felt alive and i couldn’t even resist. the tenderness by which you held me

Sure, its to your left. i say. “i know where that is. ” you say walking away. Has he been here before? Because this suddenly feels like home.

I convince myself that you haven’t however your fingers upon my skin, the way they made music with my body, the way you make love. Scratch that, make love, i have only been fucked the last couple of years. No string attached and yet this evening, i felt loved. A tear falls down my face.

I turn to my radio and play a song only you would recognize and i could feel your eyes on me from the bathroom. It wasn’t a song we both loved but a good song that can never finish.One that speaks to us the same way. Yes i still listen to Shayne. Its been four years since our song was played on the radio but i have kept a copy on my iPod. I play it often because when you said you would be right back, i didn’t believe you but i held unto the music and the feeling. Its been 7 years and i know i cant forget because goodbyes hurt when the story isn’t finished

It cant be him, i walk to the bathroom and see it. The mark on your body, how did i miss it? Oh! we made love in the dark. I get into the shower just to confirm,

I look into his eyes and i see the fire, our lips touch and he kisses me right back. A tear fell under the shower, my heart pounds. He holds unto my waist pulls back to breathe, his eyes glaring all over my body and a whisper “i missed you” we both cry.

Baby, i am home. But why are you crying?

You haven’t said another word but you hold unto me like you wont let go

Baby, I’m sorry. “why, what have you done?”

lets pour some wine and sit by the fire because we have a lot of catching up to do

Love under the rain

what would making love under the rain feel like

wet and soaking but immersed and drowning in love.

sweat and passion cooled by some drops

silent mourns and mud

oh the mud


what difference will the pattering on the roof make

on a cold horny evening

lying in bed cozy and warm
the poetic sensation
rhythm after rhythm

i wonder what it would feel like,
making love under the moon
near a water fountain
with Dave koz blowing the sax
and the stars twinkling silently

soothing jazz and the babbling of the water resonating

leave the Indian movie kinda love
its the chemistry and no action


cringing unto the sheet, legs shaking at the explosion

his tongue strumming your inner thighs
fast pace breathing
and then a silent moan

Another silence with the fore play from the tingling sensational ripples of the fountain

Goodbyes

Goodbyes hurt hurt

Especially when the story hasn’t been finished

And the book has been closed

Goodbyes hurt when closure is just a word

And silence is speaking Spanish

Sometimes you think you have forever but you don’t

The love is birthed

It’s tendered and watered

And just when the bloom blossoms,

A plague attacks

And just like that the whole bloom withers

No harvest.

A plot twist,

A dead garden

Then a river or flood running with all your secrets.

Nothing between us

You short butterflies in my tummy

Yet ignored the smile

I blamed the dust and wind when my eyes watered

Maybe there was nothing between us but

120 days ago I was heart broken

I sat at my fav cafe sipping tea

The spices were too strong my eyes watered

You walked up to me

Told me you have been watching me for years

We became friends

I promised I wasn’t ready or you would be a rebound

But your sweet soul took me to dinner

Asked me out,

When I asked for time you became elusive

Stopped calling and texted only when necessary

I didn’t reject you

When I said wait for me is because I didn’t want to hurt you

I needed to be sure my feelings weren’t playing

I just needed a couple of weeks to place and settle my hurt but

 

You shot the butterflies in my stomach

Blamed the dust for the water in my eyes

Ignored not just my smile

Told me you weren’t willing to wait

Yet you had already waited 730 days

Acted like you had never known me

Maybe you were right

There was nothing between us

But why do I still gape at the sight of you

Why does my stomach flip

And my tongue ties?

I know you feel the same way

But maybe there’s nothing between us