Broken and heavy burdened
She carried her tears to his feet
Unable to question why
Unable to pray
She reminded him of his promises
“I am holding unto love” she said.
My faith is on the line
Before I give up,
I know your answer is yes and amen
Not trying to question you,
But why?
If love covers it all…
Why, why I’m I holding unto a love long gone
Let go my soul and trust in him.
If the birds and trees still sway
and the wind and waves still in his presence
What is warmth without his embrace?
What is love without his word?
Let go my soul and trust in him
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth
For his love is better than wine
Strengthen me with raisins and
Refresh me with apples
For i am faint with love
Let go my soul and trust in him
What is a heart when its empty?
What is love when the embrace is cold
A broken heart is nothing he cant fix
A soul mate is someone who inspires you to complete yourself. Cinderella Sanyu AKA the King herself a musician and actress walked down the aisle on December 11th 2021 to … Continue reading Prynce & Cindy Okuyo
My church was silent
Silent to my screams
Blind to my tears
When my temples hurt,
My feet bruised
And My heart ached,
The Holy Spirit moved not.
The choir didn’t sing.
When stomach was empty and
When my children were hungry
The hall was dead
The pews empty
The pastor didn’t preach.
when adultery knocked,
The trumpets resounded
The righteous spoke loudly
Hail Mary, and all the saints
Spoke in tongues
And when I left, the choir sung.
So loud that they burst the speakers
Sermon after sermon I was with blemish
The love they preached was spite
They rebuked my decisions
Challenged my opinions
Said I was berserk
And I had much to drink…
Only had they known it wasn’t wine
I convened at his feet
Waited at the well
Tithed my buttons
Fasted like Esther
Kissed his feet
For his love is better than wine
Would you love me if,
You saw me physically?
This might work only behind our keyboards because,
The filters on my phone,
Have modeled me into my dream woman,
the teenage version of me.
See, my new name is “single mother”
Not that I regret my son but,
I’m no longer the high school slender babe
The one all the boys died to have
The one all the maidens thought was perfect.
I am a shadow,. No, I’m a painting.
My tummy is now a mini pot
Stretch marks run like water falls from my tummy to thighs
My boobs are not perky.
In fact they hang like punching bags so
I Never go without a bra.
My face is pale like I do not own any lotion
But I do,
however, the glow that comes with being loved..
Eluded me long time
And my heart…..😔😔😔😒😒
My chest……..are empty
Emotions loitered a lot
Because the heart and mind are busy streets
We battled with the bruises and patches
Seven years,eight hours
We buried the last pieces of you
We held long to confirm you were gone
The heart contemplated five years
The mind two years
And yet again acceptance came one month ago
Thank you for holding hands
For leading us to the bus stop
Love wasn’t enough
Thank you for your belief
It’s the end of the road
You held too long even when you fell out of love
We know your heart was gone three years in
But you held hands four more
Today we buried the remaining pieces
Way after the heart has healed
And the mind accepted
Grief no longer plays ping pong
Emotions playing no pinky ponky
Thank you for your patience
And for putting a meaning to friendships
You short butterflies in my tummy
Yet ignored the smile
I blamed the dust and wind when my eyes watered
Maybe there was nothing between us but
120 days ago I was heart broken
I sat at my fav cafe sipping tea
The spices were too strong my eyes watered
You walked up to me
Told me you have been watching me for years
We became friends
I promised I wasn’t ready or you would be a rebound
But your sweet soul took me to dinner
Asked me out,
When I asked for time you became elusive
Stopped calling and texted only when necessary
I didn’t reject you
When I said wait for me is because I didn’t want to hurt you
I needed to be sure my feelings weren’t playing
I just needed a couple of weeks to place and settle my hurt but
You shot the butterflies in my stomach
Blamed the dust for the water in my eyes
Ignored not just my smile
Told me you weren’t willing to wait
Yet you had already waited 730 days
Acted like you had never known me
Maybe you were right
There was nothing between us
But why do I still gape at the sight of you
Why does my stomach flip
And my tongue ties?
I know you feel the same way
But maybe there’s nothing between us
She could have stayed
But he said she was too much
And not enough at the same time
She was overly ambitious
But he loved the passion and ideas
She was too beautiful but
With a body of a goddess
She made him happy
But she was too selfless
She smiled with everyone and was a chatterbox
Yet he never spoke one word to start a conversation
He was cold and warm
She thought he was bipolar
One moment sweet and in love
The other angry and silent
First we adhered
Then hunger attacked us
The same men that sent us to exile
And promised to feed us
Abused and called us ungrateful
What if it was all a myth
A scramble for power at the expense of the citizens
What if it never really existed
And you just needed to withdraw money from the masses
What if it’s just a super game plan
First they got scared
They prayed silently for God to rescue the land
Then they noticed it wasn’t going anywhere
And a lot of politics was being played
At the expense of their survival
Do you know how hurt they are
How many lives are lost to hunger not covid
Or how many the security men have battered
Curfew was okay,
But how do you support a cause you know nothing about?
If they could all turn to the streets
If they could all have courage to sue you
If you could reach out once and know the pain
They have suffered with the economy
That to some, living is better than death
But here we are
Jobless and hungry
With loads of work but no money to pay support
With decaying goods no one is buying
Because breath isn’t a luxury,
Food and clothes has become a none basic need
We are struggling to see the next sun
Watching news daily waiting an address
Weeping due to domestic violence and child abuse
Trying to understand the panic media caused
Believing it wasn’t politics being played
Praying that we still have jobs
Even with salaries cut
Geeks are as expensive as mental health
Yet we have no choice but to survive
It’s not survival for the fittest.
It’s just SURVIVAL
So today I went in for the usual check and the pressure was too high so they retained me. I don’t even know why it’s up hmm..way up. I have to be admitted for a night so that they can monitor it and if all goes well, we go home or it goes bad and we go for the options that i don’t exactly want to think about.
I lay down here with Kaka (God bless mothers) and My dad on phone calling every hour and Papa seated out waiting. Medication is being given but I am very hopeful we will go home. i like how calm and active you are in Thea. Don’t give up on me, because i am determined to carry this sheaf of grain till proper harvest. I have called Dr Apollo and he says the same for other options but here we are. God knows our hearts…Kemmy came by and told us to drink Hehe so we are going to drink..
10am next day
The pressure is stable (thank God) we are going home. Am not sure I will forget the screaming of all those ladies in labor, i pray we don’t get screaming too *hides face* My Champion, dear nations, we are going home. Papa is worried so we will go to Kaka till harvest.
4/10/2018
kadaliblog 
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