Tag: #puzzledlines

Letters 21

I want to write to you a letter my love.

A letter of love, a letter of thought, a letter under the stars.

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling wishing I had those sticker stars that glow. I stare into the emptiness of the dark. Wondering if one wishing star could just swing by 👌🏼for a while. I am imagining a house with no roof. Perhaps a glass house by the beach

You know I love sunsets because they give me hope and make me feel accomplished. So a glass house by the beach would give me a perfect view. But I also love a dark sky on a cold night. Stars twinkling around a full moon.

A whole horizon at the neck of the sea, still waters whispering sweet nothings. The day was beautiful but with more chaos than expected. I need some quiet right here. Here where my thoughts speak nothing and my heart says … beautiful! ….

Where the waves kiss the shore a bit more loud and the palms sweat in harmony. In this hammock I wanna fall asleep hugging my knees and smiling at the stillness of my soul. Perhaps silently lay with you listening to the music of your heart. But, right here , I wanna lay alone to reflect on …. nothing!… but also about nothing because I just want to listen to nothing but my heart, the stars , the waves and the whispers of the wind. Here, is where I want to teach my soul about my heart, my mind about my body and my body, the language of love.

Alters

of the things that trouble hearts

lets think about the pandemic we survived

but the unemployment that troubles us

the dying economy

and the fat politicking

my heart bleeds for Italy

for my country men

for the medics

for myself, for the creatives

will they have a table laid today

of will they go hungry yet again today

will the infant have breast milk

the mother is starved, how will she lactate?

let me cry

for nothing

for the emptiness i feel

for nothing

but for the disappointment that aches my heart

for nothing

but for the empty alters

for nothing

but for many hopeless knees

for nothing

she needs to pay a geek!

no they are too expensive, she has no income

For nothing

i need therapy

no, i need to breathe!

But why Am i crying?

for the unexplained pain?

for the fake speech

for the corruption

or for the hungry family

and a man who has lost his sanity.

Let me weep in fact

for the man that has lost his esteem

he cant feed his family

for the woman that has lost herself

for the individual that has lost sanity

for the anxiety being brewed

and the served depression!

Allow me mourn

for a selfish state

selfish individuals

selfish…..nothing.

hopelessness…..

a failed economy

a sad generation and a coward one

fuck comfort!

we cant even afford it now

the pandemic went with it

yet you still prefer comfort to your rights

#PuzzledLines25

i can’t remember the last time i felt a man’s hands play piano with my spine spine
neither do i remember the last time the tambourine on my waist shook
90 days feels like a year
i think i have forgotten how to tongue twist
and donate titles they don’t deserve
does it feel good?…
No. because the moment he walked through the door i knew it was like the last time
zero worship, straight to sermon
hit it, hit the shower and go home
then i am once again stuck in my bed
hugging my knees and eating candy
planning on the next movie
preparing to laugh to myself
because shit! i am empty!

Akashaka ka Rukundo

If you were having tea with me…

Beaton taught me the line

I would seat you by the window

Let you smell the flowers at my table

Or just hand you a book

If you were having tea with me,

I would tell you about the pot I poured from

It’s my grandmas pot

But she has been gone a few years

She fenced her farm with a sweet herb

We called it a herb of love

Akashaka ka rukundo

If you were having tea with me

I would let you inhale the aroma

before I pour into your cup.

I would tell you that on many occasions

My food is spiced with love.

At the table I dined,

We held hands and said the grace

We shared smiles and tears

We spoke and learnt

If you were having a cup of tea with me

I would lead you to my fireplace

The place that holds my heart

A place that has heard many stories

I would throw you a shawl.

And tell you of the recipes that place has birthed

If you were pouring from my pot

I would tell you,

My grandma grew rosemary anywhere

It fenced the farm

It gated her home

I would tell you that without it a meal was incomplete

Now you would know that it’s a herb of love

It protected her house as much as her farm

It brought her family together and gave them warmth

And today as we drink from my pot

Of freshly brewed love

I tell you of the lessons my grandma taught me

I share my heart

I let you know that rosemary was her herb of love

And now it’s my herb

Akashaka kangye k’arunkundo

Because she didn’t know the English name

She called it love.

Goodbyes

Goodbyes hurt hurt

Especially when the story hasn’t been finished

And the book has been closed

Goodbyes hurt when closure is just a word

And silence is speaking Spanish

Sometimes you think you have forever but you don’t

The love is birthed

It’s tendered and watered

And just when the bloom blossoms,

A plague attacks

And just like that the whole bloom withers

No harvest.

A plot twist,

A dead garden

Then a river or flood running with all your secrets.

Nothing between us

You short butterflies in my tummy

Yet ignored the smile

I blamed the dust and wind when my eyes watered

Maybe there was nothing between us but

120 days ago I was heart broken

I sat at my fav cafe sipping tea

The spices were too strong my eyes watered

You walked up to me

Told me you have been watching me for years

We became friends

I promised I wasn’t ready or you would be a rebound

But your sweet soul took me to dinner

Asked me out,

When I asked for time you became elusive

Stopped calling and texted only when necessary

I didn’t reject you

When I said wait for me is because I didn’t want to hurt you

I needed to be sure my feelings weren’t playing

I just needed a couple of weeks to place and settle my hurt but

 

You shot the butterflies in my stomach

Blamed the dust for the water in my eyes

Ignored not just my smile

Told me you weren’t willing to wait

Yet you had already waited 730 days

Acted like you had never known me

Maybe you were right

There was nothing between us

But why do I still gape at the sight of you

Why does my stomach flip

And my tongue ties?

I know you feel the same way

But maybe there’s nothing between us

 

#puzzledlines 22

She could have stayed

But he said she was too much

And not enough at the same time

She was overly ambitious

But he loved the passion and ideas

She was too beautiful but

With a body of a goddess

She made him happy

But she was too selfless

She smiled with everyone and was a chatterbox

Yet he never spoke one word to start a conversation

He was cold and warm

She thought he was bipolar

One moment sweet and in love

The other angry and silent

Survival

First we adhered

Then hunger attacked us

The same men that sent us to exile

And promised to feed us

Abused and called us ungrateful

What if it was all a myth

A scramble for power at the expense of the citizens

What if it never really existed

And you just needed to withdraw money from the masses

What if it’s just a super game plan

First they got scared

They prayed silently for God to rescue the land

Then they noticed it wasn’t going anywhere

And a lot of politics was being played

At the expense of their survival

Do you know how hurt they are

How many lives are lost to hunger not covid

Or how many the security men have battered

Curfew was okay,

But how do you support a cause you know nothing about?

If they could all turn to the streets

If they could all have courage to sue you

If you could reach out once and know the pain

They have suffered with the economy

That to some, living is better than death

But here we are

Jobless and hungry

With loads of work but no money to pay support

With decaying goods no one is buying

Because breath isn’t a luxury,

Food and clothes has become a none basic need

We are struggling to see the next sun

Watching news daily waiting an address

Weeping due to domestic violence and child abuse

Trying to understand the panic media caused

Believing it wasn’t politics being played

Praying that we still have jobs

Even with salaries cut

Geeks are as expensive as mental health

Yet we have no choice but to survive

It’s not survival for the fittest.

It’s just SURVIVAL

Soul searching

Soul searching

Teas and ink

A chilly day with plenty tea cups

And frequent bathroom trips

In my bed I lay, reading an e book

I spoke with him today,

The only human that never judges me

We spoke about tea and flowers

Broken winged butterflies and….

Winds

Soul searching

Self discovery

The kettle whistles and its tea time

It’s been tea today

I sit looking outside my window

Thinking of me, us and you

Writing small nothings in my notebook

I haven’t written in a while

I can’t journal, I find it too boring

I still love red roses and cake

Oh the smell of cake baking…..

I still love maize

But….

Soul searching

Self discovery

Along the way I lost myself

Not in a bottle of wine

Speaking of wine,

I look at my rack,

It’s empty

I love the way white wine tickles my tongue

Or I never knew who I was

Maybe I have never known.

I’m just a lover

A poet

A writer

I drop another paper basket

All I have written are empty thoughts

Because in here……is empty

Maybe just lost

Love and goodbyes

Nothing changed in the last 20 years

He kisses her cheek and she smiles back but

When his wife calls out

He hides the photo in the closet

Acts like he was looking for something to wear

Acts like he didn’t hear the first time she called

He fakes it until she taps his shoulder

Sometimes love isn’t enough

But what hurts more?

Lying to the one you hold

Or spending twenty years with hurt

She knew she wasn’t the love of his life

Infact, she knew he wasn’t in love with her

Maybe just the idea of her

But years kept giving her hope

His actions spoke different

She was prepared but again it hurt like hell

She noticed his heart skipped at the park

He saw her again after twenty years

She was all he ever wanted

She saw how anxious he got

Then she knew, her time was up

Darling, she said

I know for twenty years you still kept her photo

Twenty years, you kissed her cheek

And still called her name in your dreams.

Just take care of our children

And I hope she is available for you

She returned home with a broken heart

Packed her bags and left a note

“For 10 years I planned this

But I didn’t have courage

Or I was in denial

But he will never love me like her

Even when I prepared,

I am breaking so bad.

Goodbye”