Tag: letters

Letters 21

I want to write to you a letter my love.

A letter of love, a letter of thought, a letter under the stars.

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling wishing I had those sticker stars that glow. I stare into the emptiness of the dark. Wondering if one wishing star could just swing by ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿผfor a while. I am imagining a house with no roof. Perhaps a glass house by the beach

You know I love sunsets because they give me hope and make me feel accomplished. So a glass house by the beach would give me a perfect view. But I also love a dark sky on a cold night. Stars twinkling around a full moon.

A whole horizon at the neck of the sea, still waters whispering sweet nothings. The day was beautiful but with more chaos than expected. I need some quiet right here. Here where my thoughts speak nothing and my heart says … beautiful! ….

Where the waves kiss the shore a bit more loud and the palms sweat in harmony. In this hammock I wanna fall asleep hugging my knees and smiling at the stillness of my soul. Perhaps silently lay with you listening to the music of your heart. But, right here , I wanna lay alone to reflect on …. nothing!… but also about nothing because I just want to listen to nothing but my heart, the stars , the waves and the whispers of the wind. Here, is where I want to teach my soul about my heart, my mind about my body and my body, the language of love.

Nothing between us

You short butterflies in my tummy

Yet ignored the smile

I blamed the dust and wind when my eyes watered

Maybe there was nothing between us but

120 days ago I was heart broken

I sat at my fav cafe sipping tea

The spices were too strong my eyes watered

You walked up to me

Told me you have been watching me for years

We became friends

I promised I wasn’t ready or you would be a rebound

But your sweet soul took me to dinner

Asked me out,

When I asked for time you became elusive

Stopped calling and texted only when necessary

I didn’t reject you

When I said wait for me is because I didn’t want to hurt you

I needed to be sure my feelings weren’t playing

I just needed a couple of weeks to place and settle my hurt but

ย 

You shot the butterflies in my stomach

Blamed the dust for the water in my eyes

Ignored not just my smile

Told me you weren’t willing to wait

Yet you had already waited 730 days

Acted like you had never known me

Maybe you were right

There was nothing between us

But why do I still gape at the sight of you

Why does my stomach flip

And my tongue ties?

I know you feel the same way

But maybe there’s nothing between us

ย 

Love and goodbyes

Nothing changed in the last 20 years

He kisses her cheek and she smiles back but

When his wife calls out

He hides the photo in the closet

Acts like he was looking for something to wear

Acts like he didn’t hear the first time she called

He fakes it until she taps his shoulder

Sometimes love isn’t enough

But what hurts more?

Lying to the one you hold

Or spending twenty years with hurt

She knew she wasn’t the love of his life

Infact, she knew he wasn’t in love with her

Maybe just the idea of her

But years kept giving her hope

His actions spoke different

She was prepared but again it hurt like hell

She noticed his heart skipped at the park

He saw her again after twenty years

She was all he ever wanted

She saw how anxious he got

Then she knew, her time was up

Darling, she said

I know for twenty years you still kept her photo

Twenty years, you kissed her cheek

And still called her name in your dreams.

Just take care of our children

And I hope she is available for you

She returned home with a broken heart

Packed her bags and left a note

“For 10 years I planned this

But I didn’t have courage

Or I was in denial

But he will never love me like her

Even when I prepared,

I am breaking so bad.

Goodbye”

Letters?

When was the last time you received a handwritten letter

Last year from my husband and i last wrote one last month to my husband. We love to do this, just something fresh and old school and its refreshing knowing they took time to read my ugly hand writing

Nations 8

12/5/18

I would like that you know the things I love. Life should never be as complicated as the world paints it.

Today I will tell you about my grandma. Your great grandma at that. She is late and maybe I didn’t realize how much I had grown so attached to her until she took her last breath. I love very many people with time you will know.

Mukya, I called her. We shared many things. When I went to the village my grandpa (lord bless his soul) would leave his bed for us. I did love him but maybe God took him before I got to understand him or spend so much time with him. I didn’t frequent the village because the environment change didn’t favor my health a lot and I am my dad’s little wallet. Well, when mukya came to Kampala, we shared a bedroom. Our mornings began with a sleepy long prayer that would wake you if you hoped to continue after and they ended with a prayer that got you dosing but made sure the Amen was heard. Our days were full of hymns in Runyankole. She spoke English only she and I understood. We sang rock of ages till the words stung deep, called Yesu until he said here I am, complained of pain and naked women in music videos, questioned why almost every tv soap had crying women but most of the day we were thankful. Oh yes, we were very thankful that I forgot how to ask God for certain things and be thankful for every small thing because every day was a blessing. We talked about boys and makeup and made jokes about ministers wives because she was one. Oh, she hated lazy everything with her whole life. She liked to work that even in pain she grabbed a hoe. I don’t know how to dig but I promise to pass on everything I learned. (God as my strength)

Am not perfect. Everyday I will fall short even as your mom. But I promise to be on your Team always.

Nations -2

Dear nations

As long as mummy has air(never take it for granted so when pride kicks in, remember who lendest you breath)

I was saying, as long as mummy has breath, hold unto these hands mahogany…i however can’t wait to tell you about whose hands hold us all.

I won’t promise to stop the storm for you, but will always try protect your eyes from the dust( for your eyes are far more precious than diamonds) and be your wind breaker

Always keep the stars in your eyes and dreams in your heart. Jeremiah was sent to prophecy to nations….you are Nations

 

3/3/2018

Nations- 1

Dear Nations,

I have been meaning to write to you and many times i contemplated but here it is. I don’t know you yet, but i was sure of that very first day. I wasnt anticipating but I just was too conscious. Any way Dont ask why u are nations. I knew way back that this is what you would be called until God puts a name on my heart for he knew u before i even thought of it. All i know u are going or will be a body. One individual with too much.

I often told myself that if u aren’t a minister of the word in whatever way u choose don’t be the first because that is a promise I have made to God and i intend to keep. And since u are here and you are the first am sure you know u are ready. I am very excited to have you.

I know one day u will be able to read this blog. u will have questions and I hope i will be able to answer each one of them.

And the LORD said unto her, Two nations are in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger.[2] (emphasis mine) Genesis 25:23

Worry not. Am not sure how many are thea but whatever number. He mantains my lot

15/2/2018

Dear heart

Today I felt as low as I felt the same day four years ago. I felt overwhelmed but also I had hope. I always have hope but am wondering, is this hope affiliated to you or the soul?

Hope is one of those things I can’t live without. I just don’t know how anyway.

Today I played the same exact songs that I played then. Now, there’s a certain place this music sends me to. A zone I can’t explain. Is music affiliated to you or the spirit?

This kind sends me places and makes me feel a certain type of way, as if am staring deep at a child in worship….(oh there is nothing more humbling than this) the innocence, the honesty, the infancy…..

Worship is just another setting

Love is another zone

Dear heart, if this must be my drug, I wanna keep high forever. If all this is affiliated with you in any way, teach me how to stay in this zone. It’s a safe haven. In it, nothing else matters. They say, smoke weed and feel…..i say inhale worship and everything else will fall in place

Truly

Me…gracefully broken.

Dear heart

What do tears do to you?

Yesterday I was all kinds of emotions (not exactly sure how you handle these at ago. )

Then tears….the way I felt relieved all over a sudden is amazing.

I was burning and as soon as I opened the taps, it felt like rain over a fire.

And the sleep after crying is another story…its sleep from a different planet.

The tears washed down all my emotions even with zero solution to my issues, I felt like I could concur the world ๐Ÿ‘Œ

Who even made tears?

Dear heart, life doesn’t have to be that serious I know. Sometimes it overwhelms but with tears, tea and cake we overcome. Let’s love more tonight