Tag: love letters

Letters 21

I want to write to you a letter my love.

A letter of love, a letter of thought, a letter under the stars.

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling wishing I had those sticker stars that glow. I stare into the emptiness of the dark. Wondering if one wishing star could just swing by ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿผfor a while. I am imagining a house with no roof. Perhaps a glass house by the beach

You know I love sunsets because they give me hope and make me feel accomplished. So a glass house by the beach would give me a perfect view. But I also love a dark sky on a cold night. Stars twinkling around a full moon.

A whole horizon at the neck of the sea, still waters whispering sweet nothings. The day was beautiful but with more chaos than expected. I need some quiet right here. Here where my thoughts speak nothing and my heart says … beautiful! ….

Where the waves kiss the shore a bit more loud and the palms sweat in harmony. In this hammock I wanna fall asleep hugging my knees and smiling at the stillness of my soul. Perhaps silently lay with you listening to the music of your heart. But, right here , I wanna lay alone to reflect on …. nothing!… but also about nothing because I just want to listen to nothing but my heart, the stars , the waves and the whispers of the wind. Here, is where I want to teach my soul about my heart, my mind about my body and my body, the language of love.

Love and goodbyes

Nothing changed in the last 20 years

He kisses her cheek and she smiles back but

When his wife calls out

He hides the photo in the closet

Acts like he was looking for something to wear

Acts like he didn’t hear the first time she called

He fakes it until she taps his shoulder

Sometimes love isn’t enough

But what hurts more?

Lying to the one you hold

Or spending twenty years with hurt

She knew she wasn’t the love of his life

Infact, she knew he wasn’t in love with her

Maybe just the idea of her

But years kept giving her hope

His actions spoke different

She was prepared but again it hurt like hell

She noticed his heart skipped at the park

He saw her again after twenty years

She was all he ever wanted

She saw how anxious he got

Then she knew, her time was up

Darling, she said

I know for twenty years you still kept her photo

Twenty years, you kissed her cheek

And still called her name in your dreams.

Just take care of our children

And I hope she is available for you

She returned home with a broken heart

Packed her bags and left a note

“For 10 years I planned this

But I didn’t have courage

Or I was in denial

But he will never love me like her

Even when I prepared,

I am breaking so bad.

Goodbye”

All the men i ever loved

A

you had me at the poetry and letter writing. i remember making a vow never to misplace those papers on which you wrote. i walked with them daily so on the day i tore i didn’t exactly over think through it, it was a quick decision because i listened to my tears more than my heart. I still listen to the songs you and i loved. the ones you loved especially and the ones you dedicated to me. It was young, it was innocent, it was everything.

Your smile, its still vivid in my head like I’m looking at you right now. You smile so nice.

B

We are still at A because the heart wants what it wants, nothing like the first love but also. there’s “b” the fling and “C” the undefined and “D” the sympathy vote. I don’t know how it was played but A still holds position as the fling, the undefined and the sympathy vote keep me company. I mean, the distance was real. But the heart, its a dangerous place. Mostly here i was at the brain as the heart clinged unto you. You played ball and for the rest around me, you our minds related. So our conversations sailed. ballers were a thing but maybe i was just attracted to the body build, the sweat, soft spoken and your mind but not you, not your heart

C

the Undefined. You loved me a lot (or you lied) but on the other hand my heart was at A but my brain was playing tricks on me. When the distance tempts. It wasn’t you. It was me. The letters and lyrics were flowing again. the Poetry. We shared interests while you were just the single school excitement of boys clearly. My friends said you were hot, so when you hit, i smiled but not from my heart. From my head because i had to prove a point. Its why i never responded after i met you. Then “D” hmmm

D

besides the music and fashion sense and your story, i am not sure what else. Its unfortunate i was you everything yet i didn’t even know who i was to myself. You were good company but also not for me but, i love the way you loved me and stood by me. The way you guard (ed) me. Glad we are still friends. It means a lot. But A was gone even when the heart was confused. it was not you. It was E its always been E

E

If this is what women call witch craft, E, you are a wizard. Love at first sight that didn’t leave me standing. Leave alone your looks, i was attracted to your eyes, they spoke magic. I wasn’t hearing you speak half the time, i was always lost in your eyes. When you asked me out. i triple tripped. Juju at the highest. mills and boons romance. I actually didn’t need to read the novel. it was a jack pot..Jeez. No, even in my other life. I’m here but sadly i only know one life. The day i paid attention to the voice, i already knew your heart through your eyes. I felt the pulse in every touch and interlock when we held hands. Indian movies always talk of soul mates. You are mine. we speak the same language on everything. but then i was curious about F. His voice was magic

F.

This fool confused me. swept me off my feet for a while i forgot whether i was at E or A. smooth talker, good player, smart wire. Fool. What kind of package is this? well, the perfect flawed one i guess that no one reads through. its such a perfect sail like a researched PHD. These are gaps had to escape but when luck hits you run. MF you was too good to be true like a woman lesandro. If A wasn’t my friend anymore i wouldn’t have remembered E. I am glad we had each other.

G

God! Must have heard my heart because E&G was as close as nose to mouth. smooth. Back to our romantic novel scenes. I could write a book off this episode. Good things come to an End too just look book chapters

H

I wasn’t questioning love but a rebound wouldn’t have saved us.You were very impatient yet we could have been. We could have been happier while at it. The language was Latin but we communicated because we understood each other (maybe not) you wouldn’t have run off just like that. You didn’t give me a chance to speak, you were never going to hear me out amidst traffic, the hooting was loud but you refused to pack aside. the wind beneath my wings

I

I think i am moved by musical men. But you, you you………be glad I=J and yet J was just a voice no music.

J

The shortest, meaning fool, realist heart to heart ever heard. Because K read all the chapters up to Z before i completed the book

K

not my best friend, not my soulmate but like a wind, i was swept off my feet into the air. But the answered prayer. that the whole short answer and definition of everything. Answered Prayer

L

K,O,P,Q,R, S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z all under L. You are my constants. In life and Death tattooed on my heart. whether we speak same language or not. Whether love alone isn’t enough, whether we are soul mates or not, Whether you chose me or not

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Ny @1

Dear Ny

For everything i intend to say, i am not sure how to even place the words. it was a whole damn week of labor hmm+overdue+excitement+induction+real labor+pushing+emergency c and the you are here crying fwaa. Babes, do you have an idea the things my mother went through, the prayers see made, she even kwetisad for her next sins. Honestly i don’t know where my strength erupted from but even the Dr couldn’t believe you would be my first. After those back to back contractions that almost killed me, i whispered to God “Your will,God. Your will“. I whispered to you “Don’t give up on me champ” and at that pushing board, you had me and at that chopping board, you still had me and you have me till this day

Its one year since all the magic happened. Isn’t God such a beautiful faithful one? You have been all kinds of specimen, you have taught me much about life and i could swear you have turned me into a medic with your umbilical cord that didn’t close up like the rest, to your allergies, Babes i swear i have studied medicine. You have also taught me that all kids are different, you have had delayed milestones but God is till on the throne i have learnt not to run to baby center every month.

You make 1 today. 5 things i would want you to know at this stage:

1: sharing is caring, give give give

2: We are called to like everybody but love a few so do not exhaust yourself trying to love everyone some people are just hard to love no matter how you try

3: habits are like your ass, you carry them wherever you go so be wise while picking up on those

4: humility has never killed a cock. God calls you to be

5: and the most important, ASK GOD FOR ANYTHING AND NOTHING, WE WILL FAIL YOU ON CERTAIN DAYS BECAUSE WE ARE HUMAN BUT GOD DOESN’T FAIL DESPITE THE TIME FRAME. so seek him, hunger for him, thirst for him, know him, understand him, read by yourself, Your alter is as important as the ones u see others light and BE CAREFUL OF WHOM YOU INVITE TO YOUR ALTER/PULPIT its your sacred place and don’t let people stain it

Yours

mama

Nations 8

12/5/18

I would like that you know the things I love. Life should never be as complicated as the world paints it.

Today I will tell you about my grandma. Your great grandma at that. She is late and maybe I didn’t realize how much I had grown so attached to her until she took her last breath. I love very many people with time you will know.

Mukya, I called her. We shared many things. When I went to the village my grandpa (lord bless his soul) would leave his bed for us. I did love him but maybe God took him before I got to understand him or spend so much time with him. I didn’t frequent the village because the environment change didn’t favor my health a lot and I am my dad’s little wallet. Well, when mukya came to Kampala, we shared a bedroom. Our mornings began with a sleepy long prayer that would wake you if you hoped to continue after and they ended with a prayer that got you dosing but made sure the Amen was heard. Our days were full of hymns in Runyankole. She spoke English only she and I understood. We sang rock of ages till the words stung deep, called Yesu until he said here I am, complained of pain and naked women in music videos, questioned why almost every tv soap had crying women but most of the day we were thankful. Oh yes, we were very thankful that I forgot how to ask God for certain things and be thankful for every small thing because every day was a blessing. We talked about boys and makeup and made jokes about ministers wives because she was one. Oh, she hated lazy everything with her whole life. She liked to work that even in pain she grabbed a hoe. I don’t know how to dig but I promise to pass on everything I learned. (God as my strength)

Am not perfect. Everyday I will fall short even as your mom. But I promise to be on your Team always.

Nations -2

Dear nations

As long as mummy has air(never take it for granted so when pride kicks in, remember who lendest you breath)

I was saying, as long as mummy has breath, hold unto these hands mahogany…i however can’t wait to tell you about whose hands hold us all.

I won’t promise to stop the storm for you, but will always try protect your eyes from the dust( for your eyes are far more precious than diamonds) and be your wind breaker

Always keep the stars in your eyes and dreams in your heart. Jeremiah was sent to prophecy to nations….you are Nations

 

3/3/2018

Nations- 1

Dear Nations,

I have been meaning to write to you and many times i contemplated but here it is. I don’t know you yet, but i was sure of that very first day. I wasnt anticipating but I just was too conscious. Any way Dont ask why u are nations. I knew way back that this is what you would be called until God puts a name on my heart for he knew u before i even thought of it. All i know u are going or will be a body. One individual with too much.

I often told myself that if u aren’t a minister of the word in whatever way u choose don’t be the first because that is a promise I have made to God and i intend to keep. And since u are here and you are the first am sure you know u are ready. I am very excited to have you.

I know one day u will be able to read this blog. u will have questions and I hope i will be able to answer each one of them.

And the LORD said unto her, Two nations are in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger.[2] (emphasis mine) Genesis 25:23

Worry not. Am not sure how many are thea but whatever number. He mantains my lot

15/2/2018

Dear heart

Today I felt as low as I felt the same day four years ago. I felt overwhelmed but also I had hope. I always have hope but am wondering, is this hope affiliated to you or the soul?

Hope is one of those things I can’t live without. I just don’t know how anyway.

Today I played the same exact songs that I played then. Now, there’s a certain place this music sends me to. A zone I can’t explain. Is music affiliated to you or the spirit?

This kind sends me places and makes me feel a certain type of way, as if am staring deep at a child in worship….(oh there is nothing more humbling than this) the innocence, the honesty, the infancy…..

Worship is just another setting

Love is another zone

Dear heart, if this must be my drug, I wanna keep high forever. If all this is affiliated with you in any way, teach me how to stay in this zone. It’s a safe haven. In it, nothing else matters. They say, smoke weed and feel…..i say inhale worship and everything else will fall in place

Truly

Me…gracefully broken.