Dear you,
I am not well. Last night was heavy. My chest still heaves. I opened a page I wasnt ready to open. I thought I was until I couldn’t breathe, my heart was heavy as my eyelids.
No, I wasn’t in pain,it didnt feel empty, I wasnt even angry but the memory was too heavy to bare. I cried a little and mostly , I slept but today I know I wasnt ready and I am not yet ready to speak of it. Maybe I havent healed from it. I thought it had scared my heart and the wound was gone but maybe it was just bandaged for a while.
I was told when you speak, you heal but with this memory, I prefer a silent healing, hugs and self therapy. I will be fine but I have a question….
How do I replace this heart?
I just think I have patched it so much and so well that its tired. It has been pushed extra at this love thing yet I cant even teach it to hate. I dont want it to hate, that’s not my portion but it’s too fragile, I might need a replacement. Maybe something from the iron Smith to hold it into place or more patches to bandage the wounds. May atleast borrow yours? Better still do you mind an exchange or half of mine and half of yours?
kadaliblog 