letters

Dear p,

I lied when I said i was happy, i boiled with hurt. I wore a dress of hell fire with so much grace because i was told about faith and patience. Love is patient they said. I waited, watched and prayed that you would come around. i hoped it would change. They said love doesn’t give up. I help on tight, to a clog because you had folded your hands. I imprisoned myself because they said love wasnt selfish. I gave all i had until their was nothing left to give. I stayed smiling even when i cried myself to sleep. I asked, i tried to understand you, to find you and meet you at that point. You never gave me much of you expectations. You communicated only when it was favorable for you but i still listened.

Now here we are at cross roads. I can finally breathe, I can scream and I can dance in the rain without embarrassing you. I get to live a little bit and catch up with the years i lost. i refuse to feel ashamed because the lit in my eyes dimmed. I refuse to lose myself.

yours me